The season is upon us!  What’s your reason for the season?  Is there something in particular you’re excited for each year?  I think I always look forward most to the slow pace of life with work and even time off from work.  Everyone is expected to slow down and stay indoors with family for extended period of time.  I love that, and how that adjustment in behavior opens the door for new reflections into one’s life and purpose.

It’s been a while since I posted a personal update.  Things in married life go well.  New job goes well.  Thinking about going back to school in the fall.  That might be the level of detail you get in the updates going forward…not really sure.  I don’t really want to write about my life with Kallie without her involvement.  What you might see this category turn into would be a opening of the way I think or the way I act, or who I am despite my surroundings.  We’ll see how that works.

One thing that bothers me sometimes is that Kallie will get bunches of people reply to facebook status updates for her.  Sometimes, it’s people that she’s connected through me, but I don’t even talk to on facebook.  It’s not that I want the attention, it’s that I don’t understand why people are compelled to post to her messages in such volumes and so quickly too.  It lead me to believe it’s her.  Some how, people are connecting with her through her update.  She’s reaching them in a way that I’m not.

So we give science a try.  I put the blinking cursor in my status update field and told Kallie to post something as me.  Post something that she would say, if she were me in that moment.  She wasn’t allowed to reveal it was her.  We’d test if it was the content of the status updates or Kallie’s "aura" that people were drawn to.  Within seconds, we had a reply to "mmm, my house smells like freshly baked bread.  I love my wife."  Then another.  Then another from a person I barely know.  I think we found our answer.

It’s me.  I don’t know how to connect with people, or I don’t give them a clear path to understanding me to be more precise.  I wrap things in metaphor, vague allusions, or esoteric references.  Recently, my mom replied to one of my facebook status updates saying she didn’t understand my messages, and she wanted to know if it was her or even her age.  I’m fairly certain it’s actually me.  With this post though, perhaps I can shed some light on to how my mind works and even give some examples to help you better understand what I mean when I say or do something.

We’ll take it back to the days when I first started to post away messages on AIM.  I constantly got asked what they meant.  Well, I’ll tell you now and perhaps it will help you to predict my behavior.

Most of my messages were drawn from lyrics –

"I dream that she aims to be the bloom upon my misery." – This comes from a Soul Coughing song called "I Miss the Girl".  That’s basically what I was saying.

"I feel as if i’m looking at the world from the bottom of a well." – This comes from a Mike Doughty song.  It just meant that I was sad, or I felt trapped, away from the world.

"Getting lost in the fall, glimmer, sparkle, and fade." – This came from Everclear’s album, Sparkle and Fade.   I thought it was a pretty sentiment to describe moods where I felt like a life of a star; people were lucky to catch a glimpse of a falling star, marveled at it’s glimmer and sparkle, and then it fades away.  I used it to express that I had just done something I enjoyed but probably won’t do again.

  "True dreams of Wichita." – More Soul Coughing.  Meant I wanted to travel or that I had a weird dream.

"I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake." – lines that follow "can I lay in your bed all day?" by Fallout Boy.  Usually meant I liked a new girl.

"Need more friends with wings, all the angels I know put concrete in my veins." – Billy Talent lyrics.  Means I missed people or felt crappy without friends.

"Looking at the man in the mirror and telling him to change his ways." – Michael Jackson, but taken quite literally when used.

"the world through a windshield is callous and cheap.  i toss and i turn but i can’t get to sleep.  counting the hours the days that turn into weeks" – The New Amsterdams lyrics.  Usually meant that I felt like I was just waiting for life to happen.

"Some times, it causes me to tremble."  – My favorite hymn, "Were You There?".  Usually an Easter away message.

"I’m shoulder high in crap and my water wings are flat." – President of the United States of America lyrics.  Usually meant I was stressed about something.

"I remind myself of some body else’s song." – Lifehouse lyrics.  Tongue and cheek mostly.

"Awake and dreaming." – Finger Eleven lyrics.  I was being reflective.

"This is the part where we start to feel better." – Gratitude lyrics.  something was making me sad.

A lot of my messages were my own creation –

"I’m allergic to the sun.  It makes my skin change color."  – This message was usually used when I didn’t want to go outside.

"I’m a pretty shallow guy deep down."  - It’s true.

"Warning:  This aoler may be potentially unstable.  Proceed to message with caution." – I was probably livid about something.  "Livid" was also used as an away message.

"projectiling a bee of fris across a botanical plane in attempts to approach and ultimately arrive at the X axis’ limits, while not offending the Y axis’ limits, at which point those efforts are reciprocated by an opposing force." –   I was playing ultimate frisbee.

"Let’s go get stoned.  Just like how they did in the Bible." – Just thought it was funny.

Some were direct quotes from movies or literature–

"The moments we shared are lost in time, like tears in a rain storm."  -This comes from the movie "Blade Runner".  I found it profound and quite beautiful.  It’s deep, thinking that there’s no use to cry when it’s raining.

"Closing my eyes and opening my mind in the clarity of passion."  – I’m not certain which source this came from, but it may have been from the movie "Atonement".  I usually used this one when I was falling asleep content to ponder life’s questions.

"Cheyne Stoking." – This comes from an excellent movie called "Dead Man Shoes".  At one point in the movie, the main character paints those words on an apartment wall of some "bad guys" while they’re not there.  It’s a medical term to describe periods of irregular breathing; most commonly the last grasps for breath.  I liked the phrase, so i put it up.  Possibly meant that I thought I was going to die sometime/eventually/inevitably.

"In the room the women come and go talking of Michelangelo." – This is from T.S. Elliot’s poem, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.  I just used it to say I was talking to my smart wiminz.  Another away message I used, partly inspired from Keren’s song and the poem, was "Measuring out my life with a coffee spoon."

When I’m with you, %n, we stay up all night, and when you’re gone, I can’t get to sleep.  Thank God for these insomnias, and the differences between them."  – Remember, %n was replaced with the viewer’s screen name.  That was fun.  Anyway, I saw a performance at Heinz Hall of the Pittsburgh Symphony, and in between pieces, they would have readings and this was one of them.  I have no idea of the origin, and can’t seem to find anything through google.  It means I was in love or at least infatuated.

"James 4:8 " – The verse is "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."  This was my personal motto.  Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.  Life is that simple.  When I was searching for why I felt so disconnected from Christ, I simply have to [go to church, volunteer, call a friend to talk, pray] etc.  I needed this scripture during that time of my life.

"Super perfundo on the early eve of your day." – This comes from my favorite movie, Waking Life.  It’s a phrase that one of the characters has said to him in one of his dreams, but even he doesn’t know what it means.  It’s basically used as just a greeting/farewell.

"Perhaps I am a man of exceptional moods.  I do not know how far my experience is common.  At times I suffer from the strangest sense of detachment from myself and the world about me; I seem to watch it all from the outside, from somewhere inconceivably remote, out of time, out of space, out of the stress and tragedy of it all.  – H. G. Wells" – Pretty much the only good line from War of the Worlds.  I resonated with this deeply.

The rest were either weird, boring, or a mix of the above categories –

"He’s a maniac, maniac, on the floor, and he’s cleaning like he’s never cleaned before." – This meant I was cleaning.  Taken from the Flash Dance theme song.

"This away message is fleeting human contact.  both of us lost, but for a moment we’re lost together.  I wonder who you are." – I believe this to be an internet meme, but I can’t nail the true source.  It may have been that simply substituted "away message" in for grafitti.  see XKCD.

"Falto Algo." – Spanish for "Something is missing".  My boss used to say this. 

"Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house I go." – I was visiting my grandmother.

"Home again, home again, jiggity jig." – I went home.

Ofcourse, there are the ones that meant I was sleeping…

"Dead.  At least to the untrained eye."

"Sleep with all the lights on." – Dashboard Confessional lyrics.  Most appropriately used when sleeping during the day  ie: night shift.

"some where between the sacred silence and sleep." – System of a Down lyrics.  Usually meant it was really late and I was still up for some reason.

"Under the Tahitian moon." – Porno for Pyros lyrics. 

"Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP)" – own of my originals.  Paired with:

"Stress Induced Narcoleptic Seizures (S.I.N.S.)" – another original that I still use.

So, I hope this provides you with a little bit of a road map on being able to predict what I may be trying to convey in my own mysterious way.  Default to it being lyrics for something.  Then think that I just saw/read something that imbued me.  I’m not all that hard to figure out or predict.  I think.  Did this help?

In our Bible study, we’re going through Hebrews, which has its ups and downs for sure (controversy around Melchizedek, God swearing against Himself in 6:13 when it’s against the 3rd commandment, or not to swear at all in Matthew 3:34, the differences between a promise and an oath, etc), but an interesting clarification occurred to me today, and I wanted to get it down on here to preserve it for later research for historical roots or existing thoughts.  I am going to keep to the theory of 2 covenants with God and His people, even though there are arguments for multiple.  The old covenant (AKA Old Testament) and the new covenant (AKA New Testament) being how we obtain salvation and how we are cleansed.

My thoughts were around the transition from the old covenant into the new covenant.   A brief comparison between the 2 covenants can be found here.  In Hebrews 8:13, depending on what translation you are reading, the old covenant is called obsolete and will decay away.  Even in 8:6-7, the new covenant is called better.  This right here would be the building blocks against the Jewish faith.  In some articles I’ve been reading, they take the perspective of uniting the Gentiles with the Jews with the new covenant (see Ephesians 2:15 and Galatians 3:28).  The key part in the Galatians verse is "…for you are all one in Christ Jesus."  He is the catalyst to a new covenant.

In the first covenant, Moses uses the blood of animals to cleanse, but not grant eternal life.  (It’s important to make the clarification that killing animals did not guarantee the Old Testament followers salvation.)  So it was through death that we were cleansed.

Now, there is no plan for salvation explicitly stated in the Old Testament; unless you make a connection to Jesus Christ through symbolism or hidden meaning.  Only in the new testament are we told what we must do for salvation: Acts 4:10-12  "It is by the name of Jesus Christ…Salvation is found through no one else…"

So, we have a covenant requiring death for cleansing, jesus being a catalyst, and a new offering of salvation as a result.  So my idea was that Jesus was born into the old covenant, His blood was shed (as the Lamb of God) by the people, was put to death, and then he defeated death.  If we think of things chronologically, he dies, we would then be cleansed (if we are to allow the assumption of his death being a sacrifice, although inadvertantly) When he is resurrected, what then happens to our guilt?  My answer is that Jesus Christ now owns it, since it was washed away by His blood.  So we have no choice now but to follow Christ since we are not clean without him holding our sin.

Just like in the economy, debts can be bought.  The loophole in the old covenant is that Christ was operating under it, but had no sin, therefore no debt.  So when he is capable of maintaining integrity to the first covenant in that he remains without sin, but now that he has defeated death, he can offer it to us as well under a new covenant.  Basically, he bought us out of our old contract and is able to make his own terms so long as he operates by the original contract.  The only mentions of eternal life in the Old Testament is in the apocolyptic Daniel, where he says the dead will raise, some to eternal life. 

The unique thought here (at least in my opinion), is that Christ is not only the beginning of the new covenant, bringing eternal life to sweeten the deal, but Christ is also necessary to make the transition from Old to New.  It’s not just a "God says it’s over" and bada boom bada bing.  There is still a legalistic flow and logical understanding connection to be drawn, which is important in these days.

Updates have been few and far between around here!  I can’t remember the last time I did a personal update, but i don’t think it’s been this year!  I was trying to make an update at least once a month before.  Let me see what I can recap for you…

The wedding plans go well.  We set up TallHalls.com for the wedding blog and information leading up to the event on September 5th, 2009.  I guess I need to get around to posting there as well…

I sold the truck last week.  Moved Kallie’s car onto my insurance and we’re officially a single car couple.  Kallie will be driving to work once she switches jobs, but I walk, and I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to manage fairly easily with just 1 car.  I barely drove the truck anyway.

We’re heading to Sacramento for Easter for a week.  Should be fun to spend time with everyone out there again!  I think they’re planning Kallie a bridal shower, so everyone should be in.  With that in mind, there are so many events planned in the next few months!  A friend’s wedding this saturday, Easter in California, Greek Easter with the Galis family the following weekend, talks of going camping sometime, another bachelor party in may, then the wedding the last weekend, an Avett Brothers concert or two, maybe a trip to DC or two, and i’m sure work is going to take away some weekend time as well.

Work goes well.  Finally got the bump in salary I was waiting for since last year.  That will help out with wedding funds for sure.  Especially since Deirdre’s the only one living with me in the house now.  Plans are to start moving my desk and other items into the room across the hall from me and turn it into an office/guest bedroom.  I’ve actually been A LOT of time in my room trying to get crap cleaned out and make room for Kallie.  I want to get started on that as soon as possible because it will make it a lot less stressful when she’s ready to move in.  Right now, I’m able to go at my own pace, little by little.

I’ve also purchased P90x. to get my butt in shape for the wedding/beach season.  I don’t want to start until we get back from California, but I’ve done a few sessions of it just to get the feel for it, and it’s perfect for me.  It’s very intense and very scalable to fit what shape you’re in.  I lack the motivation to come up with my own routine, and certainly lack the dedication to stick to a program that I created.  It’s so easy to just pop in a dvd, do whatever he does for an hour, and then be done.  I know a bunch of people that have gone through the program and they love it.  The biggest problem for me will be the nutritional side and eating.  I don’t eat.  It comes with a nice guide there, and Kallie says she’ll help take responsibility for that.  I’ll be sure to take the pictures, but I’m not sharing them until I see results.  I’d really love to be able to dunk again this year, finish a 5k under 20 minutes, and do the urbanathlon again, but under 90 minutes.

I’ve been pretty quiet on the music front.  I have a few tracks done, that i just need to polish and post to myspace, but it’s hard to find the time to dedicate.  I’ve been trying to set up a time to go play open mics with Ben Beitzel, so stay tuned for some live dates.

The LEGO class wrapped up, and it was a total blast.  They said the kids loved it too, and they want me to come back next year.  I plan on doing that, but I’d also like to take a stab at making art using bricks as a medium.  That whole idea is laced with legal problems, as I’ve heard from Nathan Sawaya, but I think I want to start of donating pieces for auction and seeing what kind of feedback I get.  We’ll see how that goes.

Other than that, I feel great, staying positive, staying motivated, staying productive, growing in fellowship and communion with Christ, growing with Kallie, learning from Kallie, enjoying life for what it is, and trying to keep it all going.

So, I’m pulling out of Giant Eagle Market District in Shady Side, making a left onto Centre Avenue.  A black prius is turning into the lot, and stops to let me get out onto the road first.  A guy is loading groceries into his car across the street and there is an asian woman standing next to him.  A mini van down far to the right, so my path is clear.  I accelerate, probably to 5 mph tops, and WHOA that asian chick is right in front of me.  she puts her hand on the front of my truck and moves to her left to the side of my truck.  She’s out of it.  I didn’t see her at all.  I roll down my window and ask her if she’s alright, and she just has a weird look on her face.  The dude loading his groceries starts to panic like a drama queen.  He’s saying things like, "Jesus Christ!, OH MY GOD, etc"  never really seeming to direct the comments to me, my driving, the asian woman, her jay walking, but rather just in awe of the situation in general.  I repeatedly asked the woman if she was alright through the passenger window, and she says, "yes, fine:" and nods and starts to walk towards the grocery store.  The drama queen puts his arm around her for a second.  There’s nothing more I can do.  She’s obviously startled, too foreign to communicate, or both.  I drive off accepting her "yes, fine." as closure.  should I have done more?

“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
“It is well, it is well with my soul.”
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Thou Satan should buffet, tho’ trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul.

My sin… O, the bliss of this glorious thought,
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend,
“Even so” – it is well with my soul.
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul.”

 - Horatio Spafford

We ended up meeting with the Roselius family yesterday, even though both of us were short a few siblings, and we weren’t all together for that long, it was still a good time, and openned the door for more events and get togethers in the future.

Touchtown is getting pretty busy. I am getting 2 or 3 calls a day, looks like the advertising, and virtual ISP business is starting to pay off. good good.

I am going to be reading some of my poetry this friday infront of some people, if anyone is bored, read some poems in the download section, and tell me which ones you think are the best.

Chad and Scott are talking about getting an apartment, and asked if i was interested. So today i am going to go check out the apartment with them. they said it is on 5th avenue, which probably means a lot closer to campus, and right on the main bus line. we will see how the apartment looks.

Finger Eleven concert tuesday!!! I am so pumped. man i love that band. and for them to come to town 2 times in 6 months is just awesome. I would have their babies.

so much to do…ugh. homework sucks. and mass comm has homework due everyweek and a quiz every week. i might have to skip out on the jam session tomaro night to study for my orth. Christ. test tuesday :- gotta do what ya gotta do. laterz.

Today Becky and I went to Dr. Vargo’s memorial service. He was a professor at Cal U, and the father of a dear friend, Andy. Andy is a strong man, I have a lot of respect for him. Keren went to the service too, I wish I would have gotten a chance to talk to her, but our paths didn’t cross :-

Made out pretty well at Gabe’s last night:) $56 for a nice Kenneth Cole jacket which came with a portable FM radio, a skater T with “whippersnappers” written on it, 2 pairs of jeans, and I got the pants no one will forget……..more on that to come

I saw The Butterfly Effect last night too. Fabulous. Wow, great movie. Loved it. Total Donnie Darko status.

Went out with the crew from Cornerstone again wednesday, Mike, the…umm….supervisor? adult figure? hmm, no….well, the old guy:) went along too. Good conversations there. I look forward to more.

Tomorrow, I THINK we are going to try to get a Roselius/Hall reunion going on down at WVU where J’aime, Dan, Lucas, and Nicholas live. Hopefully that will go through. I miss them all. Especially my sisters. Man do I love and miss my sisters….Yes, even Serah.

I wrote a new song, and I am going to try to get my youth group to play it. I want to redo it before i release it here though. and i also recorded some more little demo stuff, but didnt put those up yet either. be on the look out.

Gotta fasten my arse down and do some friggin studying. So much to do this week. Paper and presentation for Mass Comm Monday, Exam monday in Intro to logic, Exam Tuesday morning in Orth. Christ. and i really need to put a lot of work into all of those. Wish me luck, keep Andy’s and his family in your prayers, and keep your stick on the ice.