Don’t be a walking billboard.

You know how people put ribbons on their shirts or even their cars to raise awareness for a certain charity or campaign?  What’s the difference between a pink ribbon on your chest and a Nike swoosh?  Is Polo or Ralph Lauren a brand that you strongly believe in and want to promote?  Why are you paying to wear clothes that carry their advertising on them?  I think we should all have the confidence in ourselves and display it in the form of race car driver advertising.  If you want me to promote your brand, you should give me a contract.  Otherwise, no deal.

Don’t let other people or companies define you.

Don’t give in to the stereotypes if it’s not something you want to be.  You don’t have to be put in their box if you don’t want to fit in it.  If they won’t listen when you tell them, then show them.  If someone discards you as young and inexperienced, or old and not able to adapt, prove them wrong.

Neverwet.  This ain’t your momma’s waterproof stuff.  It’s super hydrophobic.  You can spray this on clothes, and they won’t get wet or dirty.  Spray it on steel, and it won’t rust.  THIS is the future.  Such a reduction in waste and maintenance!  Thing about how much less bridges would need to be repaired.  Think about how much less water we’d go through with washing our clothes.  So many applications.

Animals should not wear clothes. God gave them fur and hair for a reason.

NOTE: Hairless animals still should not wear clothes. Clothes are for people!

Men don’t wear jorts.  Children wear jean shorts.  Jean shorts belong in the 90s.  This means you, John Cena.  The fact that Tobias Fünke wore them should be enough reason for you not to wear them.

http://www.thesmokingjacket.com/lifestyle/to-jort-or-not-to-jort

http://www.facebook.com/pages/JORTS/106473373823

Beware the women who wears leopard, cheetah, or tiger print.  As of this writing, zebra print remains a mystery.

You don’t tuck in tshirts or polo shirts.  They’re not designed to be tucked in, they’re designed to be a little more comfortable.  This is especially true if you have a big ol beer gut.  Why the eff would you tuck in your shirt to accentuate your belly?  That’s just disgusting.

You’re only as dressed up as your least formal article of clothing.  More specifically, you can’t dress up sports gear.  A football jersey with a sports coat and tie underneath is still a football jersey.  A sweater vest with warm up pants is still warm up pants.  You’re basically a walking contradiction.  That, or you’re just too clueless to commit to one or the other.

In the case where you and someone else in your group wear the same, or very similar shirts or outfits, every effort possible should be made to either minimize (or remove completely) the similarities. Extremely rare similarities in shirts/outfits (lime green striped polos, for example) warrant extreme urgency and importance.

I forget why it happened, but we were at Chris Olivieri’s place one night for a party and Kallie ended up needing to borrow a shirt, so Chris gave her an old Pirates tshirt.  Now, she’ll wear it sometimes.  To bed, or in the morning on the weekends.  All I can think about is that my wife is wearing another man’s tshirt.  I find this wrong (but keep a sense a humor).  Thoughts?