I’ve had a few people asking my about my diet while Kallie is away.  It’s not great, but I’m getting by.  The nice thing is, I asked Kallie not to go grocery shopping before she left.  First, just so she didn’t have 1 more thing to do before she left, but also because I’m not that pathetic that I would need her to do that for me.  A nice bonus to not having new stuff in the fridge is the sense of accomplishment I get from finishing things.  You might not know this about me, but I have a strong affinity for finishing things so they don’t go to waste.  Kallie surely has a different perspective from me, but I see us throw out a lot of food because we’re too blessed and move on to the next meal without using up left overs or have items in the fridge that didn’t get used up, but only have limited applications.  My personal goal in the fridge is always to use up what’s there and consolidate.  So I’ve done that so far.  Chicken salad from a salad left over the the weekend, a burger with the rest of the head of lettuce from before the weekend, enchiladas, nearly empty packages of cheese, italian dressing, buns, bagels, etc, etc.  I’m making sure I get some fruits and veggies in there.  I’m actually enjoying the sense of manageability of the contents in the refrigerator and freezer rather than seeing them as an abyss where we’ll hopeless never go hungry.

so back to my day:

4:45am  – wake up to make breakfast for the labor halls.

7:00am – back in bed for a 1.5 hour name before going into work.

5:00pm – back home, start finishing up the final touches on the lair in the basement.  Kallie’s not going to like it because it’s very much my space, but it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.  With all this stuff moving around, it’s becoming apparent how close we are to outgrowing this house already, and we don’t even have the daughter yet.  A lot of what we store should go in a garage, attic, or basement.  There’s a George Carlin bit about buying stuff until you fill your house that rings all too true. here’s a link to the bit [explicit language]

6:00pm – I get a call from a friend from out of town that’s in for the holidays and he invites me over to a mutual friend’s house to hang out.  I decline because I do have to work tomorrow, I have some motivation to get things done, andd the weather is kind of crappy.  It felt somewhat redeeming after last night’s rejections though.  I’ll go back to the mon valley tomorrow to hang out with him.

9:00 pm – Kallie facetimes me on her phone.  I make her cry by expressing my feeling interrupted when she calls me unexpectedly.  I tried not to come across like I don’t want to talk to her, of course I do, I just want to focus on getting stuff done here, and when we end up with dead silence on the phone, or in this case, just staring at each other, it’s frustrating.  Maybe I’m a bad cold hearted husband, but I want to get stuff done around the house for US.  Having to drop everything from those distractions when she calls only reminds me that she’s not here and I’m alone.  It’s kind of an all or nothing thing.  I’m just not skilled enough to multitask doing things here and taking care of my wife there.

10:00pm – deflated and defeated.  bed time for baxter.  so much for running.

I’m going to try to avoid offending anyone here.  Know that I’m expressing my thoughts, not my rules.  This is an idea that I’ve always struggled with, not something that I’m upset with others for doing.

I don’t really value food.  I define food as the most basic substance that we require to survive.  That’s all I am able to see it as, a maintenance requirement for our bodies.  I do see food as an industry, man-made, sensationalized, and hierarchical.  That scares me, and it always has.

I’m not talking about the content of documentaries like Food, inc or Super-size me.  I’m on a much more basic level.  The NEED for food.  Why do we NEED to enjoy food?  Should we really value taste?  If we could get the same nutritional value of a salad in a pill form, shouldn’t we do that instead?  From a time spent perspective?  From a consuming natural resources perspective?

I look to The Bible for answers, partly because that’s where the struggle was born.  I see where meat is sacrificed.  I see where feasts are held on significant days and times.  I see so many metaphors using food to express how important something is.  I see a lot of bread, wine, water, milk, honey, grains and cheese.  These are all basic foods.  Specifically in the book of Job, he makes the reference to not wanting to eat unsalted food.  He is tormented with life’s unending slavery.  I can only hope that I do not meet the same fate as Job for my questions here…

The point I keep coming back to though is that food is temporary.  There are numerous metaphors to stay away from temporary things.  We should build our homes on permanent ground, we should focus on the things unseen and everlasting, not tangible and mortal.  Are we investing large percentages of our days to temporary and earthly things?  We spend so much time preparing something that we’re just going to destroy right away.

This can be applied to a lot of things besides cooking.  Clothing is temporary and earthly, but we put such emphasis on putting on our Sunday best for church.  Movies are entertaining and can be the launching pad for fellowship, but I can’t think of any other activity where we do nothing for 90 minutes.  Discussing politics will just go on and on and on, and it won’t even change a thing.  Is this what we’re called to do with our time?

It basically comes down to where is the line between actively doing God’s work and resting?  Where is the line between investing time versus return?  Where is the line between rendering unto Caesar and following our calling?

Even if cooking long and intricate meals is the best thing we can do in our lives, isn’t there then something righteous about denying ourselves that pleasure?

Again,  these are my own thoughts and struggles.  If you enjoy cooking, do it!  Family dinner time, the gift of hospitality, and inviting others to break bread with you are some of the most tremendous things to do in our life!  I just know that I’m not going to be able to do those things every day and every meal, especially if I’m to value other areas of my life.  Enter struggle.

It is never acceptable to eat food from the grocery store until you’ve paid for it.  It’s theft.  That’s not really the reason for the rule, it’s more of logic and law for those of you who find no problem with it in the first place.  You know who are.   IT’S WRONG.

Is it rude to cut steak all up before you eat it?