I’m a mile away from your bedroom door

I wanted to get close, but I can’t go anymore

There’s caution tape around the 1 mile radius

of the crash site that claimed the life of one of us

How vividly I can remember the events of that day

And I thought that we both escaped unscathed

But the next morning the newspapers read

“Fatal accident leaves 1 man dead.”

Maybe if I duck under the tape

And slowly get closer to where I met fate

I’d still find my heart slowly beating and clinging to life

And I could call the paramedics, and give it CPR

Or drive it to the hospital myself if it wasn’t too far

Where they would get the crash cart, screaming “we’ve still got a chance”

One more chance to revive the romance

Between a guy who loved a girl more than he should have

Between a girl and a guy who did less than he could have

To save himself from dying in a unforeseen accident

But he didn’t, and the doctors will say they can’t

Because taking the heart away from where it was

Closer to your heart, and your rushing blood

Was what was keeping it alive, and I never knew

Your heart was keeping mine alive too.

So I’ll stay here, pumping gas in my car

My body facing your direction from afar

And I’m trying to look through all of these houses and trees

Virtually flying, imagining everything in transparency

Until I reach your bedroom, where I’ll stop and knock

And maybe you’ll answer and maybe you’ll not

Maybe your music is too loud, and you’d never hear

The sound of my heart beating, no matter how near.

I snap back to my car as the handle finishes pumping

Deep breath in, and I get a small hint of something

Besides the gasoline, there’s something else in the air

Something that reminds me of the smell of your hair

Back in my car, back on the highway I drive

Never knowing if I’m dead, or just barely alive

And as I pass the road to your place

I’m the only one turning my face

Away from the site of that terrible crash

Where wreckage is being hauled away as trash

The wreckage of what I was trying to build

But I never got to finish before I was killed.

And maybe next time I come down this way

A new structure will stand in its place

Built by a man, whose blue prints you approved

Or maybe, once all the wreckage is removed

A memorial will be built in remembrance of me

And when it’s done, the newspapers will read

“Woman builds memorial for lover lost in fatal accident.”

The bracelet labeled “Corporate Whore”,

I’ve worn since I got my foot in the door,

They bent me over the desk, and I begged to work more,

So that I can pay for things I can’t afford.

The watch that ticks the time,

Reminds me of times I watched slip by,

Every opportunity missed, and chance denied,

And the limited future, until the day I die.

The girlfriend’s hair thing I wear,

A display of affection for the one I care,

A trinket of hope in times of despair,

The band-aid covering my heart’s bleeding tear.

Slave to these charms,

Owned by their meaning,

No one will be keying,

These shackled arms.

When the most beautiful words I never spoke,
Are at the tip of my tongue and then I choke
On the possibility that you might respond,
And then we’ll meet, and I’ll grow fond
Of the way your hair slowly covers your eye.
Or the way your hand gently brushes mine.
Or how the blood from my heart rushes
At every one of your sparking touches;
Forcing my eyes to shut and body stilled;
A quick deep breath and my lungs are filled.
I can’t move. The only thing moving is my mind,
And all the images of you that it can find;
Projected onto the back of my eyelids as a screen;
Debuting a movie that no one else has seen…
Or ever will, because once I regain sight,
And start to gaze at the most beautiful thing in my life,
The movie goes back into production inside my head.
But maybe I’ll get to catch a sneak peak as I sleep in my bed.
All this goes on in the matter of seconds.
And when it’s all over, my heart beckons
For another moment just like it.
A moment where my body won’t fight it.
How your touch invokes something so intangible.
So much beyond anything imaginable.
And all I can do is imagine us there,
At that same table, at that same restaurant,
At the same time, and our bodies in the same spot;
Your eyes focused on mine, and mine on yours.
And we stop time around us for what seems like hours.
Just you and I, continuing our lives without the world around us.
And we’ll continue talking about how love found us,
And put us together for the very first time.
How everything was easy as it just fell into line.
I never knew what I was looking for until I met you.
I never knew how to act until I watched what you do.
When you talk to people that you don’t know.
How they walk away after with a certain glow.
And as for me, I’m a lighthouse shining bright;
Protecting your shores from lost ships at night.
Letting them know that I am guarding your beaches.
And that tonight, land will be out their reaches.
They’ll have to set anchor in the ocean as blue,
As the eyes I’m staring at; the eyes of you.

This was a poem I wrote back in February of 2007 I was reminded of it when I watched this short film:

Nuit Blanche from Spy Films on Vimeo.

The girl never ceases to amaze me.  She, once again, brought a finger eleven show to me.  They are coming to x-fest.  and so is switchfoot.  many more to be announced.  i bought 4 tickets.  so i will see them there and rolling rock town fair.  matchbook romance is coming to Mr smalls too.  lots of great shows coming up, i am going to add them all to the calendar here.  thanks adrienne!!