#84 – Life is defined by maintenance.

All you do in life is try to maintain it.  You eat for energy to do it again.  you sleep to do it again.  You work to pay for it again.  You do more or something new to make you happy…again.  Life becomes a huge cycle of maintenance.  Therefore:

#85 – The secret to life is to avoid or mitigate maintenance.

Set your bills to be paid automatically.  Eat well.  Learn to control your dreams so you’re not just sleeping.  Spend less so you need to work less.  Find out what makes you happy and keep on doing it.  Stop your mind from worrying about what you need to maintain in your house, but start accepting what doesn’t need to be maintained.

Do you believe in love?  I’m sure people’s definitions vary widely, just like their capacity to love.

When I was in college, I had a creative writing class.  It was a small class, less than 20 of us, and we met in one of the cool nationality rooms at Pitt.  The professor’s last name was Hall, and I enjoyed her and the class tremendously.  I don’t claim to have had a special connection with her, but I can tell you that she made me feel special.  She always had not only good things to say about my writing, but she had encouraging things to say.

Sure, maybe that was just her style, and she told everyone that they should submit writing to contests.  Maybe she suggested everyone contact the local radio station, WYEP, to fill a spot reading their poetry.  All I know is that she gave me confidence in my work to do those things because she convinced me she believed in me, so why shouldn’t I believe in myself?  One thing stands out though.  When she opened up a Red Rose Tea box, and picked out the glazed ceramic animal figures, I doubt she thought of every student she had.  As she picked up a peregrine falcon piece, she remembered a short story I wrote that included the falcons.  She gave me that figurine at the end of the semester and I still have it and remember what it symbolizes.  It might have been something simple and small to her, but beyond the fact that I already enjoyed collecting the figures, I was filled with joy to be receiving something back.  She didn’t just read my short story, she remembered it enough to be inspired.  THAT is what I would live for as a writer.  Affecting people by simply expressing my thoughts would fill me with such life.

I attribute that class to a lot of my desire to write, or even blog at all.  I never won any of those contests.  WYEP said they wanted established poets who were published.  For some reason though, none of that felt like rejection.  It felt like satisfaction.  Sometimes, I yearn for that unique feeling.  To be so filled with joy, that rejection rings in a sense of completion rather than discouragement.

Don’t let your stuff define or enslave you.

You are not your duvet cover.  If you ever saw the movie Along Came Polly, you’ll remember the scene where the couple discusses the bed pillows.  Why do you have stuff that you have to put on and take off every night and every morning?  Your time, money, and effort should be more valuable to you than appearances.  Make your stuff work for you.  You shouldn’t be spending your life maintaining all the things in your life that add no benefit to you.

Friends are replaceable.  Family, is not.

If you lost a family member, you will never be able to fill that void.  All you can do it learn to ignore it and remember them.

Cry

That is all you know

Knees to the floor

And away you go

Wide eyed

Reach out to touch

Giggle a little bit

You’re impressed by so much

Scared

Who are these others?

Why are we all here

Instead of home with our mothers

Accepting

Fragile, but developing a core

Understanding, not understood

Get ready, there’s so much more

Status

They’re everything I want to be

They’re so pretty

Why doesn’t everyone like me

Maturity

I love you

Where do I want to go from here?

What the future holds, you haven’t a clue.

Independence

You’re in control of your life

Time to make your own decisions

Take the good with the strife

Establish

A job, a home

Maybe someone else is there

Or maybe you are still alone

Climb

To the top

Become successful, become a success

And once you do, never stop

Give

Time to your husband or wife

Life to your child, pets, and each other

Love to live your life.

Slow

You’ve had your chance

The chance to build the shiny hard word floor

Where you can slow dance

Breath deep

Take in all in and look back

Smile at what you’ve done, at what you’ve been

Forget what you lack

Exhale

Let your lips come together, and eyes close

What images dance on the back of your eyelids?

Feel no pain, as life says “good bye”, and goes.

The only way to get ahead in life is to own your own business.

When my dad passed away in December 2004, I had already not been talking to him for years.  During those years of not talking to him, I’d visit my grandma and she’d always tell me that I needed to make amends with him before something happened to him.

As I’m preparing to become a father myself, it strikes me funny that her warning were never “make amends because you need a father.”  I saw my relationship with my father as doing more damage than it was worth to maintain.  Truth be told, I still maintain that stance, but I am now ready to admit that I did not have a full picture of what a father has to offer, or even what a father’s role is.

I have so many questions.  Sure I can ask my mom as much as she’s comfortable with, or even my uncle, but they’re not my dad.  I have a step-dad, that is more like a good friend than an authority in fatherhood.  All this to say, I have sources that can serve as replacements, but they’ll never fill the shoes of my dad.  That’s not a result of my actions, or his, at this point either.  God called him home, and I don’t have to understand the purpose.

All I know, after more than 10 years, for the first time, I think I’m missing my dad.  I’m missing my dad, but also missing a dad.  That’s sobering, because you can get new best friends, but you will never get a new dad.

you should always be a contributing member of society.  not for what you will leave behind, but for what you will enable others to do.  Non Nobis Solum, the Latin motto for “Not for ourselves alone” means that “it’s not for me, it’s for everyone.”  You’re life is to be lived giving from your gifts and abilities, not living selfishly and only thinking of yourself.

Here’s some interesting past and present pictures of the Hill District.  I can’t even imagine the Hill District being as lively as it used to be.  So many buildings and businesses and people.  It seems like it truly was connected to the hustle and bustle of downtown at one time.

http://multimedia.post-gazette.com/ThenNow/Hill/Center/default.asp

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11226/1166781-53.stm