Do you know what TED Talks are?  TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, but the topics that are covered in these talks are much broader and deeper than that.  Some of the most respected minds in the world take time to give a lecture on their expertise.  I know, I said the “L” word.  Honestly though, these are some of the most poignant monologues and engaging lectures I’ve ever listened to.  The topics span from world peace, to the social impacts of selling vs giving bug nets for people in Africa, from sound waves to what we perceive (or perceive incorrectly) with our eyes.  When you have people like Mike Rowe (of Dirty Jobs fame) giving lectures, it’s bound to be entertaining.  There are TED conferences happening all the time, and I’d love to go to one, but for now, these videos are awesome.

It’s been a while since I posted a personal update.  Things in married life go well.  New job goes well.  Thinking about going back to school in the fall.  That might be the level of detail you get in the updates going forward…not really sure.  I don’t really want to write about my life with Kallie without her involvement.  What you might see this category turn into would be a opening of the way I think or the way I act, or who I am despite my surroundings.  We’ll see how that works.

One thing that bothers me sometimes is that Kallie will get bunches of people reply to facebook status updates for her.  Sometimes, it’s people that she’s connected through me, but I don’t even talk to on facebook.  It’s not that I want the attention, it’s that I don’t understand why people are compelled to post to her messages in such volumes and so quickly too.  It lead me to believe it’s her.  Some how, people are connecting with her through her update.  She’s reaching them in a way that I’m not.

So we give science a try.  I put the blinking cursor in my status update field and told Kallie to post something as me.  Post something that she would say, if she were me in that moment.  She wasn’t allowed to reveal it was her.  We’d test if it was the content of the status updates or Kallie’s "aura" that people were drawn to.  Within seconds, we had a reply to "mmm, my house smells like freshly baked bread.  I love my wife."  Then another.  Then another from a person I barely know.  I think we found our answer.

It’s me.  I don’t know how to connect with people, or I don’t give them a clear path to understanding me to be more precise.  I wrap things in metaphor, vague allusions, or esoteric references.  Recently, my mom replied to one of my facebook status updates saying she didn’t understand my messages, and she wanted to know if it was her or even her age.  I’m fairly certain it’s actually me.  With this post though, perhaps I can shed some light on to how my mind works and even give some examples to help you better understand what I mean when I say or do something.

We’ll take it back to the days when I first started to post away messages on AIM.  I constantly got asked what they meant.  Well, I’ll tell you now and perhaps it will help you to predict my behavior.

Most of my messages were drawn from lyrics –

"I dream that she aims to be the bloom upon my misery." – This comes from a Soul Coughing song called "I Miss the Girl".  That’s basically what I was saying.

"I feel as if i’m looking at the world from the bottom of a well." – This comes from a Mike Doughty song.  It just meant that I was sad, or I felt trapped, away from the world.

"Getting lost in the fall, glimmer, sparkle, and fade." – This came from Everclear’s album, Sparkle and Fade.   I thought it was a pretty sentiment to describe moods where I felt like a life of a star; people were lucky to catch a glimpse of a falling star, marveled at it’s glimmer and sparkle, and then it fades away.  I used it to express that I had just done something I enjoyed but probably won’t do again.

  "True dreams of Wichita." – More Soul Coughing.  Meant I wanted to travel or that I had a weird dream.

"I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake." – lines that follow "can I lay in your bed all day?" by Fallout Boy.  Usually meant I liked a new girl.

"Need more friends with wings, all the angels I know put concrete in my veins." – Billy Talent lyrics.  Means I missed people or felt crappy without friends.

"Looking at the man in the mirror and telling him to change his ways." – Michael Jackson, but taken quite literally when used.

"the world through a windshield is callous and cheap.  i toss and i turn but i can’t get to sleep.  counting the hours the days that turn into weeks" – The New Amsterdams lyrics.  Usually meant that I felt like I was just waiting for life to happen.

"Some times, it causes me to tremble."  – My favorite hymn, "Were You There?".  Usually an Easter away message.

"I’m shoulder high in crap and my water wings are flat." – President of the United States of America lyrics.  Usually meant I was stressed about something.

"I remind myself of some body else’s song." – Lifehouse lyrics.  Tongue and cheek mostly.

"Awake and dreaming." – Finger Eleven lyrics.  I was being reflective.

"This is the part where we start to feel better." – Gratitude lyrics.  something was making me sad.

A lot of my messages were my own creation –

"I’m allergic to the sun.  It makes my skin change color."  – This message was usually used when I didn’t want to go outside.

"I’m a pretty shallow guy deep down."  - It’s true.

"Warning:  This aoler may be potentially unstable.  Proceed to message with caution." – I was probably livid about something.  "Livid" was also used as an away message.

"projectiling a bee of fris across a botanical plane in attempts to approach and ultimately arrive at the X axis’ limits, while not offending the Y axis’ limits, at which point those efforts are reciprocated by an opposing force." –   I was playing ultimate frisbee.

"Let’s go get stoned.  Just like how they did in the Bible." – Just thought it was funny.

Some were direct quotes from movies or literature–

"The moments we shared are lost in time, like tears in a rain storm."  -This comes from the movie "Blade Runner".  I found it profound and quite beautiful.  It’s deep, thinking that there’s no use to cry when it’s raining.

"Closing my eyes and opening my mind in the clarity of passion."  – I’m not certain which source this came from, but it may have been from the movie "Atonement".  I usually used this one when I was falling asleep content to ponder life’s questions.

"Cheyne Stoking." – This comes from an excellent movie called "Dead Man Shoes".  At one point in the movie, the main character paints those words on an apartment wall of some "bad guys" while they’re not there.  It’s a medical term to describe periods of irregular breathing; most commonly the last grasps for breath.  I liked the phrase, so i put it up.  Possibly meant that I thought I was going to die sometime/eventually/inevitably.

"In the room the women come and go talking of Michelangelo." – This is from T.S. Elliot’s poem, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.  I just used it to say I was talking to my smart wiminz.  Another away message I used, partly inspired from Keren’s song and the poem, was "Measuring out my life with a coffee spoon."

When I’m with you, %n, we stay up all night, and when you’re gone, I can’t get to sleep.  Thank God for these insomnias, and the differences between them."  – Remember, %n was replaced with the viewer’s screen name.  That was fun.  Anyway, I saw a performance at Heinz Hall of the Pittsburgh Symphony, and in between pieces, they would have readings and this was one of them.  I have no idea of the origin, and can’t seem to find anything through google.  It means I was in love or at least infatuated.

"James 4:8 " – The verse is "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."  This was my personal motto.  Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.  Life is that simple.  When I was searching for why I felt so disconnected from Christ, I simply have to [go to church, volunteer, call a friend to talk, pray] etc.  I needed this scripture during that time of my life.

"Super perfundo on the early eve of your day." – This comes from my favorite movie, Waking Life.  It’s a phrase that one of the characters has said to him in one of his dreams, but even he doesn’t know what it means.  It’s basically used as just a greeting/farewell.

"Perhaps I am a man of exceptional moods.  I do not know how far my experience is common.  At times I suffer from the strangest sense of detachment from myself and the world about me; I seem to watch it all from the outside, from somewhere inconceivably remote, out of time, out of space, out of the stress and tragedy of it all.  – H. G. Wells" – Pretty much the only good line from War of the Worlds.  I resonated with this deeply.

The rest were either weird, boring, or a mix of the above categories –

"He’s a maniac, maniac, on the floor, and he’s cleaning like he’s never cleaned before." – This meant I was cleaning.  Taken from the Flash Dance theme song.

"This away message is fleeting human contact.  both of us lost, but for a moment we’re lost together.  I wonder who you are." – I believe this to be an internet meme, but I can’t nail the true source.  It may have been that simply substituted "away message" in for grafitti.  see XKCD.

"Falto Algo." – Spanish for "Something is missing".  My boss used to say this. 

"Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house I go." – I was visiting my grandmother.

"Home again, home again, jiggity jig." – I went home.

Ofcourse, there are the ones that meant I was sleeping…

"Dead.  At least to the untrained eye."

"Sleep with all the lights on." – Dashboard Confessional lyrics.  Most appropriately used when sleeping during the day  ie: night shift.

"some where between the sacred silence and sleep." – System of a Down lyrics.  Usually meant it was really late and I was still up for some reason.

"Under the Tahitian moon." – Porno for Pyros lyrics. 

"Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP)" – own of my originals.  Paired with:

"Stress Induced Narcoleptic Seizures (S.I.N.S.)" – another original that I still use.

So, I hope this provides you with a little bit of a road map on being able to predict what I may be trying to convey in my own mysterious way.  Default to it being lyrics for something.  Then think that I just saw/read something that imbued me.  I’m not all that hard to figure out or predict.  I think.  Did this help?

Really, I have to give it up to my body for the past month or so.  It’s been through a lot, especially in the past week!  I have poison all over my legs, probably have some sort of sinus infection following a cold a week ago, and I’ve added a weight routine inbetween days of my ~4 mile runs.  It’s been in a constant state of healing for a while now, and it’s doing a great job.  Even been getting more sun than normal from soccer and the runs.  Good job, body, keep up the good work.  There’s still a rough road ahead of us to get where we need to be for the urbanathlon, or california beach appearance…but each day gets us a little closer.

As for the rest of me, doing pretty well.  I missed a week of work from the tooth surgery, then a short holiday week from the 4th of july, then another week off for staycation.  I was going to go to yankanuck with Deirdre, mom & chris, and even mike, serah, and Josie, but I decided to sit it out and save money for when i will really need it.  All i would do at yankanuck would be play music and read.  I got a lot done though, and things actually worked out very well for me by staying back.  More on that in the future.

Got a lot coming up too.  Josh Hall Project plays at the Cornerstone Kickoff on august 24th, and unlike instruments where you just have to learn the song and you’re good, vocals need to be in shape to sing.  So that needs to start NOW.  Need to take a trip up to see grandma.  I’ve also decided to sell all 4 of my lollapalooza tickets, with a minor loss, so that I can fly to California for that week.  Details to come, but I’m excited for what might be a new chapter…or even expansion pack, to my life.  I try to keep my head on my shoulders and heart in place for the time being, but I’m praying for open eyes to see what God wants to reveal to me.

April fool’s came and went yesterday.  I didn’t do a single joke or prank.  eh, next year.  Rachel and I went to DC to hang out with Serah and Mike.  Had a great time.  We saw Mount Vernon saturday, then spent some time at the Mall for the cherry blossom festival, then just chilled out at their place.  I uploaded a bunch of photos to the gallery, including some of a hidden tunnel/room thing that Rachel and i broke into at mount vernon.

Looks like I will be working from London for may 24th and 25th.  should be a good time.  I’ll probably go over a day or two earlier and sight see.  Still a lot of planning going into the whole Italy trip, but time is flying!  6 weeks!

So here’s a weird story.  Got a laptop last week from work and i took it home wednesday to work from home that night.  Half way home, I stopped at walmart and ended up taking a nap for a bit before going in and head home.  When I start back home, a few minutes away I smell something burning like plastic or rubber.  I forget about it until i get home and i see smoke coming out of my hood.  I pop the hood and the belt is smoking, and it’s dripping.  The belt is so hot it is melting.  Since i can’t do anything with it hot, i leave it cool down.  Later on, I come out and notice that the engine coolant is pretty much gone.  I fill that, and start up the truck again.  It is squealing really badly.  I am thinking it just has to wear away the dried melted parts and the squealing will go away.  Its gets quieter and quieter and finally does stop.  Satisfied, i turn the truck off and get out to shut the hood, but i notice that the belt is broken and that would be why it is no longer making noises.  So now my truck is disabled.  Luckily, I had an appointment already in place for friday to get emissions and state inspection.  Luckily, I don’t need to go to work because i can work from home.   Luckily i stopped halfway home or else i could have been stuck on the side of the road.  So i just got it towed back home on thursday, got a lift home on friday with my stepdad who works in the city, and i’m borrowing my mom’s minivan until the truck is done.  It’s going to cost $700.  They have to replace the entire air conditioning unit/system thing or else the belt will just melt again.  I had just used the air conditioning for the first time on monday, and it didn’t work, so i knew something was wrong.  sucks though, i could REALLY use that money with italy coming up.

Alex is pretty cool.  He’s got an architecture internship downtown.  haven’t had the chance to do anything with him yet, but we’ve got a while.  Still trying to find someone to rent the basement room out too.  Craigslist for the win!

Getting really proud of the city.  here’s a cool article on on the new building projects for the city. www.post-gazette.com/pg/07091/773880-85.stm So much to be excited about!

so thanksgiving come and gone, since i had to work (not a UK holiday) i drove home for dinner quickly and had to head off to work shortly after. They were slow nights, so i didnt mind. Friday, another first for 2006, I got sick as a result of drinking WAY too much. After all the times i’ve drank this year, i still find myself very incontrol and cognitive. Got to the bar ~10, and bob russell was there. all told through the night…at least 3 shots of tequilla, a shot of wild turkey, some other concoction the waitress made for me, some other shots that i didnt know what they were, CHUGGED (<5 seconds) at least 3 yuenglings, had at least 2 other yuenglings. I had originally went with Deirdre, but they wouldn't let her in (i was saddened) so she took my truck home and i asked the jenkos for a ride home right of the bat. I asked them to pull over half way home. All in al though, i didn't feel sick at all, i'd compare the expelling of liquids to coughing. Soul coughing even... heh, kudos Mr. Doughty.

This weekend was a crazy weekend of reunitings, Kathy (after she totally ditched me when i went down to DC), Bob, Zach, mike quinn, and a bunch of others because it was basically a high school reunion on friday. It really put me in reflective mood.

nothing too crazy going on this week, just trying to get some recording done for the myspace page. Just trying to get through the last few weeks of the year…I’ll miss you 2006, there were good times and bad times, but most importantly, there were times.

wow, a lot to update i guess. I can’t remember the last time i made an update, which is actually a nice intro to the next topic…
This past weekend, my family and I went up to Nemacolin to do some snowboarding, spa stuff, and just hang out. It was a great time. Saturday, Mike, Keren, Deirdre, and I went snowboarding. Mike and I hadn’t gone for a few years, and Keren and Deirdre have never gone aside from a few times down the hills at my mom’s house on my snowboard. Taken into account that the entire slope was a solid piece of ice, we were all doing pretty well. Close to when we were going to call it a day, Keren and Deirdre went to turn in their equipment and Mike and I were going to race one last time. I don’t anything of that race. I remember about a second’s worth of standing at the bottom of the slope and watching a snowmobile towing a stretcher sled behind it. I vaguely remember the lift guy saying something to me about not having my board on my feet, and I just told him i was done after i got back up to the top. Halfway up the lift, I “came to” and was totally freaked out. I felt like i was waking up in a dream. I remembered watching keren and deirdre snowboard, and I knew mike was somewhere behind me, but i had no idea how i got there, or where i was, or what the date was. I started trying to figure out what happened or what i could remember. I couldn’t remember the date, so i looked at my watch. I wanted to say i was at seven springs, but i kept thinking about it and remembered I was at nemacolin. I got off the lift and sat on a bench by the lodge. I knew mike should be coming soon, and when he came over to me i said, “Mike, we have a problem, I don’t remember how i got here.” Keren and Deirdre came over sometime during that and i was like nearly in tears because i was so scared. So after all is said and done, I must have fell somewhere and hit my head on the ice. Mike said he passed me on his way down, and i was sitting down adjusting my bindings. he said shortly after he got to the bottom of the hill, some other kid on skis wiped out hard near the bottom of the slope. He ran to the lift booth to tell them to call for a paramedic, then he went to go treat the kid for shock. I guess sometime during that I must have somehow made my way down the hill, and mike said i was even responsive when he was telling me about the kid, and that his leg looked like it was broken. So, what happened to me will remain a mystery. I don’t remember much until we got back into the hotel room. Even then, i was a little out of it for the rest of the night. I should have gone to the EMT at the slopes, but I wasn’t lucid enough to make that decision. The whole night, and sunday, I was constantly testing myself to see what I remembered of what just happened. I am not sure if i am just more aware of what I remember now, or if i really do have some other brain damage. I thought I was fine yesterday (sunday), minus a terrible headache when i woke up and an entire body full of aches and pains. The paranoia of not remembering anything is still slowly fading, although, this morning, I was an hour early for work. I don’t know if that is a sign of true memory problems or just my own incoherence in the morning to tell what time it was compared to what time i needed to be at work. So, I’m still a little scared, but I think i’m alright.
This past tuesday, the 13th, marks one years since my dad passed away. Things with the estate are still up in the air. Emotions still wild between us and Robbie and my uncle. Lots of issues with finances, lawyers, creditors, contractors, etc.
so besides that, done with school this semester, not sure how i did yet, hoping for 2 As. My last day of work is wednesday, then i am off until the second, granted I don’t get screwed covering for new years. Still got some major Christmas shopping to do.
I saw King Kong last friday, and i was a major skeptic leading up to it, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was very well done. Everyone kept saying, “oh, peter jackson this, and peter jackson that” and i was like, yeah, he did lord of the rings, which was fabulous, but you know what he did before that? Meet the Feebles. talk about a resume builder. I have such a distaste for pop-culture.

“Serah, catch my legs.”
- Mike Pesce, as he did a surprise handstand and fell on top of Serah.

october. It went from 70 degree weather to 50 in the matter of a day or two. i’m not happy. effing october.

Went down to annapolis this weekend with my sisters to hang out with serah. it was a good time. we didnt really do all that much, but it was nice to hang out. it’s actually one of the rare moments when it is just us siblings, no mom, no significant others.

I’ve been so overwhelmed with school the past few weeks. statistics having homework due twice a week, a test, and another test this friday. but, it’s over after that. I had a test in my communication last monday, and it sucked. i guess starting next week, i am going to have the monday night class, and then a tuesday night class. whose bright idea was that? effing A. I was thinking about going somewhere for my birthday, i took off the whole week from work, but with those classes, it makes it pointless. I think i might just keep saving up my money and get stuff down around the apartment that week.

this wednesday is a mike doughty concert. Don’t know who i am going with yet, but hopefully i will be able to find someone.

another thing that is starting to take precedence over other items is estate business. it’s a race against the weather to try and get the roof fixed by winter, and we don’t have any money to work with. it’s drama central. trying to set up deems’ park as a business too, hoping that will be beneficial to our situation. I am trying to meet with some small business volunteers this thursday to go over all of our options.

nothing else is new with me. life goes by faster than i can enjoy it.

So mike doughty’s latest album is called “Haughty Melodic.” seems like a phrase typical of mike. I am just now coming to realize that “Haughty Melodic” is an anagram for “Michael Doughty.” Pretty cool. So i went to find out what other anagrams i could make from people’s names, here. There’s nothing cool for my name, but, turns out “Almighty Douche” is the only other anagram for michael doughty, with words made of 5 letters or more. That’s pretty darn funny. That’s enough for me not to name my album “haughty melodic.” No need to draw attention to the anagrams after that.
http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/advanced.html serah jo hall = hear all josh