You’re only legit when you have your own wikipedia entry.

if resolution can’t be met over 3 emails, it’s time to escalate to the phone.  Don’t forget rules 161 and 162.

You’re only as dressed up as your least formal article of clothing.  More specifically, you can’t dress up sports gear.  A football jersey with a sports coat and tie underneath is still a football jersey.  A sweater vest with warm up pants is still warm up pants.  You’re basically a walking contradiction.  That, or you’re just too clueless to commit to one or the other.

No matter how smart you truly may be, chances are someone is passionate about how stupid you really are.

Nothing is just black or white. This is a very broad statement to cover many topics and objects. The point is there is always an exception or a gray area. It’s always relative to who is perceiving it.

Never date your friend’s sister.

When you’re engaged in a group discussion, and someone makes an allusion to a person whose name you don’t recognize – assume it’s a football player.  The accuracy of this assumption can be increased when you hone in on context clues like the gender of the reference, the male ratio of the discussers, as well as the time of year (ie: draft season).  Let the rule also state that the afore mentioned “draft season” does not imply awareness due to social responsibility, but rather awareness by previous conversations around the same chronological period.