the first time we danced,

we both were romanced.

oh, the future we could have.

And when I told you,

“Darling, I love you”

That’s the first time it went bad.

It was too much, too soon.

I claim insanity under the moon.

How I long for just another chance.

But you’re once, twice, three times a lady and I’m sorry it ended that way.

The next time we met,

I was filled with regret,

But I held back words with a smile.

At lunch we talked,

And after, we walked.

That’s when I reached out for your hand.

You wanted to run,

I was crazed by the sun,

How I long for just another chance.

But you’re once, twice, three times a lady and I’m sorry it ended that way.

Years later it came,

we huddled in the rain.

My, how beautiful you were.

Puddles of love

Poured down around us,

And I knew just what to say.

You’re in my heart and my head,

But I wrote this song instead,

oh, how I’d love to pursue.

Your life is fine

but as for mine,

I’ll get by without if you choose.

You’re once, twice, three times a lady, and I’m sorry it ended this way.

Once, twice, three times a lady, and I’m yours when you want it that way.

I want to “rebuild” something in the house.  I’m not sure whether it’s just a room that is a replica of another room of a house I lived in, or a famous room from somewhere else, like the Whitehouse.  At Winterthur and Nemacolin Woodlands, they have areas where the walls are actual storefronts so the room or hallway feels like a city street.  Something like that would work too.

There are some awesome collaborations out there. Mash ups also abound and are wealthy in awesomeness. Some of these can be considered mash-ups, but the fact that both artists involved actually came together to perform it make it awesome in a whole new way.

10. Michael Jackson & Janet Jackson – Scream : This shatters previous standards of awesome on so many different levels. Never again will 2 individual pop powerhouses be siblings and only cross paths in such an epic way as this.

9. Babyface & Eric Clapton – Change the World : Babyface’s solo artist career was short lived, but he remained a powerful force in the background of the early 90s music scene. This was a great step forward for young people who weren’t familiar with Clapton too.

8. Eminem & Elton John – Stan : Blew the stereo-types out of the water with this 2001 Grammy performance. I missed Dido, but that was up there too.

7. Moby & Gwen Stefani – South Side : I think time has a lot to do with this one. Both were peaking in their careers and the song seemed to fit perfectly in both of their individual careers.

6. Puff Daddy and Jimmy Page – Come With Me : I took Puff Daddy with a grain of salt when he broke out after Biggie’s death, but man, did he prove me wrong. He had some high style and some reigning class.

5. Finger Eleven & The Alkaholiks – Daaam : Maybe I’m biased, but I think it’s an awesome cross genre collab.

4. Aerosmith and Run DMC – Walk This Way : A musical first where the two bands crossed genres and did it well.

3. Jay – Z and Linkin Park – Numb/Encore :Following DJ Dangermouse’s mashing of Jay-Z, these two put the theory to practice, in an awesome way. I truly regret not seeing them in Philly for the FREE G8 concert.

2. USA for Africa – We Are the World : Almost too much going on here, but it was just right. The All Star collaboration done after 9/11 is a close competitor, but none of those people had staying power.

1. Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson – The Girl is Mine : This song is the last remnant of their relationship. It’s awesome to see these two powerhouses come together, but then inevitably destroy each other.

Honorable mentions:
Warren G & Nate Dogg – Regulators : Classic song, but neither made it big enough to call it an epic match of collaboration.

Santana & … Anyone : There are some great collaborations there…but they all have Santana, which tells me 1 thing. Santana has no talent besides playing terribly flashy guitar solos over basic melodies.

Rockwell & Michael Jackson – Somebody’s Watching Me : Not really much of a collaboration, but the fact that someone as big during that time as Michael Jackson, lending his voice and melody to some no name dude remains a mystery. Perhaps it will remain that way.

Further reading: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grammy_Award_for_Best_Pop_Collaboration_with_Vocals

Organized dancing has an expiration date.  Ballroom and other styles of dancing are perfectly acceptable, what I’m talking about is doing dance recitals and creating a routine to a song.  Here’s a graphical aid.

A malapropism (AKA dogberryism or acyrologia) is a phrase or word that can substitute to sound like another word phrase. Just like when you have some misheard song lyrics (These are called mondegreens btw), usually these have funny stories if they come up in real life situations. Here are a few examples of ones I’ve come across:

While on a tour at a winery, the tour guide was showing the different sizes of bottles and what they are called and used for. He pointed to a very large one and I swore he said, “This one is the annihilator.” What he really said was, “This one is the nine liter.”

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet
became quite thick and hard. He also was quite a spiritual person.
Even when he was not on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and
became quite thin and frail. Due to this diet, he wound up with very
bad breath. Therefore, he came to be known as a . . .

Super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

Do you have any examples of #phrases that sound like other phrases?

I like how pandora and last.fm recommend music based on the genre and bands you’re listening too, but I’m envisioning a site based on literal connections that bands have.  I think the interface could very pretty and fun.  It could be like TheyRule.net.  Think a colored red circle with "Foo Fighters" written in the middle.  clicking on it would pop out all these little circles.  Maybe one would be a blue circle with "Nirvana" written on it.  You could click on the line that connected the two and it would tell you that Dave Grohl played drums in Nirvana and is the front man for Foo Fighters.  Maybe another Circle could be Gary Numan, and the connection is that Foo Fighters covered his "Down in the Park."  Getting content would be as easy as partnering with last.fm, http://www.coversproject.com/, and maybe freedb.org.  I’d like to see connections such as band members that have the same birthdays or went to the same highschool and bands that have the same lyrics or song titles.

So, I’m trying to transition over to itunes (version 9) after being a hardcore winamp user since the late 90s.  Winamp’s keyboard shortcuts are the cat’s pajamas though, and I’m missing them tremendously.  Specifically, the shortcut to jump to a song.  Hit "J" and just start typing in a title or band and it dynamically searches for you.  It’s great when you can’t remember who sang a song and you just remember the track name or vice versa.  Nothing like that in itunes, and surely not as simple.

I also miss the visualizations of winamp.  I loved having that in a mini window.  Infact, plugins alone are lacking dramatically in itunes.  It’s weak.  I want skins!  that’s one of the main reasons why I have a jailbroken iphone.  I don’t like your interface, Mr. Jobs.  LET ME CUSTOMIZE IT.  I AM A UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE.  I AM THE ALL SINGING ALL DANCE CRAP OF THE WORLD.

The another shortcut key I’m missing is queue.  In winamp, I could click a song, hit "q" and winamp would play that song next and then go right back to where it was on the playlist.  As far as I can tell, there is no way to do this.  That’s based on forum posts through google that date back to 2003, and Apple still doesn’t listen to their users.  How they crap do they have such product loyalty when they don’t listen to their users?  cough cough mindless droids  cough cough.

I feel like winamp was a baseball.  Intricately laced, tight, filled with strings and cool stuff and was pretty solid.  Itunes is more like a basketball.  It’s bigger, bounces better, but it’s filled with a lot of air.  I guess I’m the anti-michael jordan in this analogy?  Whatever, Apple is refusing to play ball regardless.

It’s been a while since I posted a personal update.  Things in married life go well.  New job goes well.  Thinking about going back to school in the fall.  That might be the level of detail you get in the updates going forward…not really sure.  I don’t really want to write about my life with Kallie without her involvement.  What you might see this category turn into would be a opening of the way I think or the way I act, or who I am despite my surroundings.  We’ll see how that works.

One thing that bothers me sometimes is that Kallie will get bunches of people reply to facebook status updates for her.  Sometimes, it’s people that she’s connected through me, but I don’t even talk to on facebook.  It’s not that I want the attention, it’s that I don’t understand why people are compelled to post to her messages in such volumes and so quickly too.  It lead me to believe it’s her.  Some how, people are connecting with her through her update.  She’s reaching them in a way that I’m not.

So we give science a try.  I put the blinking cursor in my status update field and told Kallie to post something as me.  Post something that she would say, if she were me in that moment.  She wasn’t allowed to reveal it was her.  We’d test if it was the content of the status updates or Kallie’s "aura" that people were drawn to.  Within seconds, we had a reply to "mmm, my house smells like freshly baked bread.  I love my wife."  Then another.  Then another from a person I barely know.  I think we found our answer.

It’s me.  I don’t know how to connect with people, or I don’t give them a clear path to understanding me to be more precise.  I wrap things in metaphor, vague allusions, or esoteric references.  Recently, my mom replied to one of my facebook status updates saying she didn’t understand my messages, and she wanted to know if it was her or even her age.  I’m fairly certain it’s actually me.  With this post though, perhaps I can shed some light on to how my mind works and even give some examples to help you better understand what I mean when I say or do something.

We’ll take it back to the days when I first started to post away messages on AIM.  I constantly got asked what they meant.  Well, I’ll tell you now and perhaps it will help you to predict my behavior.

Most of my messages were drawn from lyrics –

"I dream that she aims to be the bloom upon my misery." – This comes from a Soul Coughing song called "I Miss the Girl".  That’s basically what I was saying.

"I feel as if i’m looking at the world from the bottom of a well." – This comes from a Mike Doughty song.  It just meant that I was sad, or I felt trapped, away from the world.

"Getting lost in the fall, glimmer, sparkle, and fade." – This came from Everclear’s album, Sparkle and Fade.   I thought it was a pretty sentiment to describe moods where I felt like a life of a star; people were lucky to catch a glimpse of a falling star, marveled at it’s glimmer and sparkle, and then it fades away.  I used it to express that I had just done something I enjoyed but probably won’t do again.

  "True dreams of Wichita." – More Soul Coughing.  Meant I wanted to travel or that I had a weird dream.

"I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake." – lines that follow "can I lay in your bed all day?" by Fallout Boy.  Usually meant I liked a new girl.

"Need more friends with wings, all the angels I know put concrete in my veins." – Billy Talent lyrics.  Means I missed people or felt crappy without friends.

"Looking at the man in the mirror and telling him to change his ways." – Michael Jackson, but taken quite literally when used.

"the world through a windshield is callous and cheap.  i toss and i turn but i can’t get to sleep.  counting the hours the days that turn into weeks" – The New Amsterdams lyrics.  Usually meant that I felt like I was just waiting for life to happen.

"Some times, it causes me to tremble."  – My favorite hymn, "Were You There?".  Usually an Easter away message.

"I’m shoulder high in crap and my water wings are flat." – President of the United States of America lyrics.  Usually meant I was stressed about something.

"I remind myself of some body else’s song." – Lifehouse lyrics.  Tongue and cheek mostly.

"Awake and dreaming." – Finger Eleven lyrics.  I was being reflective.

"This is the part where we start to feel better." – Gratitude lyrics.  something was making me sad.

A lot of my messages were my own creation –

"I’m allergic to the sun.  It makes my skin change color."  – This message was usually used when I didn’t want to go outside.

"I’m a pretty shallow guy deep down."  - It’s true.

"Warning:  This aoler may be potentially unstable.  Proceed to message with caution." – I was probably livid about something.  "Livid" was also used as an away message.

"projectiling a bee of fris across a botanical plane in attempts to approach and ultimately arrive at the X axis’ limits, while not offending the Y axis’ limits, at which point those efforts are reciprocated by an opposing force." –   I was playing ultimate frisbee.

"Let’s go get stoned.  Just like how they did in the Bible." – Just thought it was funny.

Some were direct quotes from movies or literature–

"The moments we shared are lost in time, like tears in a rain storm."  -This comes from the movie "Blade Runner".  I found it profound and quite beautiful.  It’s deep, thinking that there’s no use to cry when it’s raining.

"Closing my eyes and opening my mind in the clarity of passion."  – I’m not certain which source this came from, but it may have been from the movie "Atonement".  I usually used this one when I was falling asleep content to ponder life’s questions.

"Cheyne Stoking." – This comes from an excellent movie called "Dead Man Shoes".  At one point in the movie, the main character paints those words on an apartment wall of some "bad guys" while they’re not there.  It’s a medical term to describe periods of irregular breathing; most commonly the last grasps for breath.  I liked the phrase, so i put it up.  Possibly meant that I thought I was going to die sometime/eventually/inevitably.

"In the room the women come and go talking of Michelangelo." – This is from T.S. Elliot’s poem, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.  I just used it to say I was talking to my smart wiminz.  Another away message I used, partly inspired from Keren’s song and the poem, was "Measuring out my life with a coffee spoon."

When I’m with you, %n, we stay up all night, and when you’re gone, I can’t get to sleep.  Thank God for these insomnias, and the differences between them."  – Remember, %n was replaced with the viewer’s screen name.  That was fun.  Anyway, I saw a performance at Heinz Hall of the Pittsburgh Symphony, and in between pieces, they would have readings and this was one of them.  I have no idea of the origin, and can’t seem to find anything through google.  It means I was in love or at least infatuated.

"James 4:8 " – The verse is "Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."  This was my personal motto.  Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.  Life is that simple.  When I was searching for why I felt so disconnected from Christ, I simply have to [go to church, volunteer, call a friend to talk, pray] etc.  I needed this scripture during that time of my life.

"Super perfundo on the early eve of your day." – This comes from my favorite movie, Waking Life.  It’s a phrase that one of the characters has said to him in one of his dreams, but even he doesn’t know what it means.  It’s basically used as just a greeting/farewell.

"Perhaps I am a man of exceptional moods.  I do not know how far my experience is common.  At times I suffer from the strangest sense of detachment from myself and the world about me; I seem to watch it all from the outside, from somewhere inconceivably remote, out of time, out of space, out of the stress and tragedy of it all.  – H. G. Wells" – Pretty much the only good line from War of the Worlds.  I resonated with this deeply.

The rest were either weird, boring, or a mix of the above categories –

"He’s a maniac, maniac, on the floor, and he’s cleaning like he’s never cleaned before." – This meant I was cleaning.  Taken from the Flash Dance theme song.

"This away message is fleeting human contact.  both of us lost, but for a moment we’re lost together.  I wonder who you are." – I believe this to be an internet meme, but I can’t nail the true source.  It may have been that simply substituted "away message" in for grafitti.  see XKCD.

"Falto Algo." – Spanish for "Something is missing".  My boss used to say this. 

"Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house I go." – I was visiting my grandmother.

"Home again, home again, jiggity jig." – I went home.

Ofcourse, there are the ones that meant I was sleeping…

"Dead.  At least to the untrained eye."

"Sleep with all the lights on." – Dashboard Confessional lyrics.  Most appropriately used when sleeping during the day  ie: night shift.

"some where between the sacred silence and sleep." – System of a Down lyrics.  Usually meant it was really late and I was still up for some reason.

"Under the Tahitian moon." – Porno for Pyros lyrics. 

"Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP)" – own of my originals.  Paired with:

"Stress Induced Narcoleptic Seizures (S.I.N.S.)" – another original that I still use.

So, I hope this provides you with a little bit of a road map on being able to predict what I may be trying to convey in my own mysterious way.  Default to it being lyrics for something.  Then think that I just saw/read something that imbued me.  I’m not all that hard to figure out or predict.  I think.  Did this help?

This post is classified under "memories" for those facebook readers that don’t see categories.  I wanted to write down my memory of the day I found out my brother had passed.  Mom – be warned.

Caleb and I slept in what would be called "Uncle Jay’s" room together when we lived at my Grandma’s house.  He slept in the queen bed and I slept on the cot right next to it.  I remember that when I woke up, I used to wake Caleb up, talking to him, or checking to see if he was awake.  I got in trouble once or twice for it.  I don’t remember what day of the week it was, but I remember waking up, and going downstairs, thinking not to wake up Caleb.  As I sat and watched TV at the table and ate breakfast, my mom went upstairs to get Caleb.  Moments later, My mom was yelling, "Mom!"  I saw her carry Caleb down into the living room and put him down on the couch.  A large EMT lady showed up with ambulance a while later.  I’m 8.  I don’t remember any other siblings being home but me.  I remember my dad coming to the back door and telling me to get Pap-pap.  I think there was a little bit of tension with letting my dad into the house, but ultimately, he ended up to being able to come into the kitchen at least.  That’s where I remember holding a 2×3 photo of Caleb and crying in the arms of my dad, saying things like, "Caleb is gone", but I can also remember not really understanding what that meant.  I just felt like that is what I should be doing, as if I was just doing it because that’s what they do on TV or something.

It was Friday, January 26th, 1990.  Caleb was turning 10 on February 9th.  I assume we had the funeral shortly after.  I remember school at Bentleyville Wesleyan was canceled for the funeral.  I saw a lot of people at the funeral.  I remember Uncle Kenny playing a song he wrote and leaving a casette tape in Caleb’s casket.  I want to say I even put in one of his wood cars.  The weird memory is that I remember Jim Henson dying around the same time, and images of all the Sesame street characters showing up at his funeral, and thinking about those same characters showing up at Caleb’s.  Jim Henson didn’t die until May 16th, but I guess the memories were still fresh enough in my head to make that imprint, or it’s been so long that they just seem to overlap.  I remember Jesse and Uncle Tom coming up.  Honestly, I’ve had quite a few funerals, most at the same exact place, so a lot of the memories I have in my head right now, are bluring together, so I’ll stick to the ones I’m sure of…at least, as sure as my memory let’s me believe.

Reed wrote and recorded this song for me and my fiance, Kallie.  As many of you know, Kallie and I met online, and I lived with my sister and a 3 legged cat named Hal when I met her, and she is severely allergic to cats.  I hosted an open mic for my bachelor party, and he showed up with this song to surprise us. 

Reed Verdesoto – On the Internet