#84 – Life is defined by maintenance.

All you do in life is try to maintain it.  You eat for energy to do it again.  you sleep to do it again.  You work to pay for it again.  You do more or something new to make you happy…again.  Life becomes a huge cycle of maintenance.  Therefore:

#85 – The secret to life is to avoid or mitigate maintenance.

Set your bills to be paid automatically.  Eat well.  Learn to control your dreams so you’re not just sleeping.  Spend less so you need to work less.  Find out what makes you happy and keep on doing it.  Stop your mind from worrying about what you need to maintain in your house, but start accepting what doesn’t need to be maintained.

Modeling isn’t a career.

Neither is DJ’ing.  I’m sure you can think of a bunch of others that fall into this category.  By definition, “career” means “an occupation or profession, especially one requiring special training, followed by one’s life work.”  There’s a reason for the existence of the expression “don’t quit your day job.”   Ultimately, your career should lead you to a way that lets you take care of someone else too, other than just your immediate needs.  There’s certainly a period in life when it’s acceptable to chase these occupations, but if they don’t work out, do the responsible thing and walk away, even if it’s to find a career that can support your hobby.

I’ve had a few people asking my about my diet while Kallie is away.  It’s not great, but I’m getting by.  The nice thing is, I asked Kallie not to go grocery shopping before she left.  First, just so she didn’t have 1 more thing to do before she left, but also because I’m not that pathetic that I would need her to do that for me.  A nice bonus to not having new stuff in the fridge is the sense of accomplishment I get from finishing things.  You might not know this about me, but I have a strong affinity for finishing things so they don’t go to waste.  Kallie surely has a different perspective from me, but I see us throw out a lot of food because we’re too blessed and move on to the next meal without using up left overs or have items in the fridge that didn’t get used up, but only have limited applications.  My personal goal in the fridge is always to use up what’s there and consolidate.  So I’ve done that so far.  Chicken salad from a salad left over the the weekend, a burger with the rest of the head of lettuce from before the weekend, enchiladas, nearly empty packages of cheese, italian dressing, buns, bagels, etc, etc.  I’m making sure I get some fruits and veggies in there.  I’m actually enjoying the sense of manageability of the contents in the refrigerator and freezer rather than seeing them as an abyss where we’ll hopeless never go hungry.

so back to my day:

4:45am  – wake up to make breakfast for the labor halls.

7:00am – back in bed for a 1.5 hour name before going into work.

5:00pm – back home, start finishing up the final touches on the lair in the basement.  Kallie’s not going to like it because it’s very much my space, but it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.  With all this stuff moving around, it’s becoming apparent how close we are to outgrowing this house already, and we don’t even have the daughter yet.  A lot of what we store should go in a garage, attic, or basement.  There’s a George Carlin bit about buying stuff until you fill your house that rings all too true. here’s a link to the bit [explicit language]

6:00pm – I get a call from a friend from out of town that’s in for the holidays and he invites me over to a mutual friend’s house to hang out.  I decline because I do have to work tomorrow, I have some motivation to get things done, andd the weather is kind of crappy.  It felt somewhat redeeming after last night’s rejections though.  I’ll go back to the mon valley tomorrow to hang out with him.

9:00 pm – Kallie facetimes me on her phone.  I make her cry by expressing my feeling interrupted when she calls me unexpectedly.  I tried not to come across like I don’t want to talk to her, of course I do, I just want to focus on getting stuff done here, and when we end up with dead silence on the phone, or in this case, just staring at each other, it’s frustrating.  Maybe I’m a bad cold hearted husband, but I want to get stuff done around the house for US.  Having to drop everything from those distractions when she calls only reminds me that she’s not here and I’m alone.  It’s kind of an all or nothing thing.  I’m just not skilled enough to multitask doing things here and taking care of my wife there.

10:00pm – deflated and defeated.  bed time for baxter.  so much for running.

I’m being super proactive and structured while Kallie is out in California for a week.  My default has been to do nothing, get mopey and grumpy, and sleep a lot.  I’m going to try to have a very productive and also entertaining week while I’m by myself.  The reality of this probably being one of the last weeks on my own for a very long time is certainly in the air.  I’ve had many people warn me to get any projects done around the house, because once the baby comes, you have no time for anything.  Here’s a recap of Day 1:

5:45am – Wake up to drop Kallie off at the airport

7:00am – Arrive back home, take a nap before work

9:30am – Wake up and realize you should already be at work.  Oops.

5:00pm – Come home, watch the movie ” The Number 23” – A quick review:  This has so many qualities of the psychological thrillers I love.  I am so inspired to write stories after watching this movie.  I identified with the character so much, and having the premise of the movie being the main character identifying with a “fictional” character in a book just drew me in further and deeper.  No way Kallie would have enjoyed that one.

7:00pm – Do the dishes, tidy up a bit.

8:00pm – Build the LEGO Ferrari Racer – My mother in law is basically my LEGO supplier, and she’s usually good for awesome bulk collections, but this collection had the book and pretty much all the pieces to this amazing set, so I put it together.  It’s so awesome.  It’s hard to tell the size from the picture, but it’s a hefty foot long.  It looks and feels just like a model.  I think I’ll even leave it together for a bit.

9:00pm – Sort the rest of the LEGO bricks I got for Christmas while watching the SNL Christmas special.

11:00pm – Do some pushups, write some emails, surf around a bit, quick devotional, bed by midnight!

Look for a daily log for the week while Kallie is gone, hopefully to keep me honest and motivated by fear of man…or something.

If your problems are found to be geographic, leave.

I’ll probably take some judgment here.  I’ve always struggled with hungry people in 3rd world countries.  Why are we taking the food and supplies directly to them?  If school buildings, water wells, or something else enables the people to start caring for themselves, then great, but I view anything else as unsustainable.  WHY ARE PEOPLE CHOOSING TO STAY THERE?  I’m willing to bet it’s because 1) they don’t know any better and 2)We’re enabling them to stay there.

There’s a lot more content to unpack there, but I’ll change direction and hit closer to home.  If Detroit doesn’t have any jobs for you — wait for it — MOVE TO SOMEWHERE THAT DOES.  The expression “time to get out of Dodge” isn’t a quote from a fairytale.  If you’re in trouble where you are, go somewhere else.

I’m all for protecting culture, or reducing stress on a family, but where’s the line?  At some point, you’re just hurting yourself.

you should always be a contributing member of society.  not for what you will leave behind, but for what you will enable others to do.  Non Nobis Solum, the Latin motto for “Not for ourselves alone” means that “it’s not for me, it’s for everyone.”  You’re life is to be lived giving from your gifts and abilities, not living selfishly and only thinking of yourself.

It’s important to dream, but know what’s a dream and what you’re just not working hard enough to achieve.

I wonder what the corporate smoking policy is at cigarette manufacturers.  Do they have no breaks because people can smoke as much as they want to anywhere in the office?  Does everyone get free cigarettes?  There’s got to be a hard balance from encouraging loyalty to your product to also maintaining productivity to investing in the health of your employees as well.

It’s not like you can counter-act smoke inhilation like you can with exercise and fat.  It’s black or white, on or off.  Smoking in moderation is never a recommendation.

The bracelet labeled “Corporate Whore”,

I’ve worn since I got my foot in the door,

They bent me over the desk, and I begged to work more,

So that I can pay for things I can’t afford.

The watch that ticks the time,

Reminds me of times I watched slip by,

Every opportunity missed, and chance denied,

And the limited future, until the day I die.

The girlfriend’s hair thing I wear,

A display of affection for the one I care,

A trinket of hope in times of despair,

The band-aid covering my heart’s bleeding tear.

Slave to these charms,

Owned by their meaning,

No one will be keying,

These shackled arms.

if resolution can’t be met over 3 emails, it’s time to escalate to the phone.  Don’t forget rules 161 and 162.