Blog of Josh Hall

In short – If Apple were to make a baby monitor, it would be the Withings Smart Baby Monitor.

You will want it as soon as you see your friend use it.  When you look at the package, you will think that little naked cherubs designed it all to fit together for you to unwrap and open.  I almost cried.

The word “baby”, when used as an adjective, has the same effect as the word “wedding” used in the same manner.  Specifically, it sends prices to outrageous levels.  most baby monitors available have the quality of a webcam from 1992, and the features of a walkie talkie.  Some actually are just that, A FREAKING WALKIE TALKIE that my brother and I played with in 1986!

-wait- I just looked at my Withings smart baby monitor; I’m calm again.  It has that effect on me, just imagine what it does for a baby 1/8 of my size.  I mean, look at it.

Doesn’t that make you want to fall asleep thinking safe and warm thoughts?  Speaking of safety, you could use the baby monitor as a surveillance camera because the image quality is effing great IN THE DAY OR IN THE NIGHT.  That’s right, NIGHT VISION.  This things tricked out like a Russian submarine.  Infact, this submarine has multiple periscopes in the form of my and my wife’s iphones.  At work?  No problem, as long as you have internet, you can AUTHENTICATE (because that sounds more secure) to your monitor to watch and talk to your baby.  Oh yeah, I didn’t mention that?  You can send your voice through the device.  We’ve crossed the line to baby monitor and have entered the baby communication device territory.

This thing has all the bells and whistles.  Quite literally, since it can play music too.  Heck, change the ambient color of the device from your phone too.  What ever sets the right atmosphere for your baby…which reminds me, you can get a ready of temperature AND EFFING HUMIDITY IN THE ROOM.  how’s that for atmosphere?

Did I mention it’s portable?

This is it people.  I can’t think of a single feature the Withings smart baby monitor doesn’t do.

Except change my baby’s diaper.  version 2?

You deserve nothing.  Live like it.

You may find life is more rewarding as a result.  An inflated self-image and sense of entitlement are like termites eating out the supports of your house until the supports can no longer bear the load.  Once your world comes crashing down on you, it’s more efficient to wipe and start all over.  Then you don’t have to deal with the tears, depression, pity, blah blah blah.  Get over it and enjoy the freedom of not deserving anything.

The fact is, if you think you deserve it, you either have to take it from who has it yourself, or expect them to give it to you.  Neither of those result in anyone thinking better of you –except maybe yourself, and sometimes that doesn’t even work out.

WARNING:  I’m going to go on a bit of a rant about chivalry, gender roles, and social norms.  You may be offended or disagree.

One frustration I have is women who complain they aren’t treated “fairly”.  WTF is fair?  If you want to be treated like a man, act like a man.  I absolutely think people should be hired for jobs based on their abilities, regardless of gender, but when it comes to dress for that interview, it’s a completely different game between genders.  Women dress is something that makes them look good.  If they’re short, they wear heels.  They have have ways to express their personality, and have it be socially appropriate.  Men have to wear a suit.  Not a red suit.  not a looneytoons tie.  Men are judged on their ability to conform to boring in their appearance.  If you want to give me some tirade about ‘well, the interviewer shouldn’t be basing their decision on how attractive the girl is’ then I want you to not put on any make-up, show up at tell that to the person interviewing you.  If you’re not willing to put your actions where your mouth is, I don’t want to hear your words.

What it comes down to, if you want to be treated fairly, sure, there are probably a lot of things that could be “brought up” to a higher standard compared to men, but there are certainly a lot of areas that should be brought down to be comparable to men.  No more holding doors.  No more ordering first at restaurants.  Come to think of it, no more passcode entry into the work bathroom!  Why are women’s privacy and security concerns greater than men?

I say put a lock on the men’s room door too.  I say, men need to be allowed to wear khaki shorts to summer weddings if women are able to wear skirts and thin strapped dresses.  Why are men at such a huge fashion disadvantage?  Back to job interviewing, If I don’t normally wear a tie to work, but all of a sudden I show up to work with a tie on, chances are people are going to think I have a job interview somewhere.  Women don’t have to worry about that.  They can keep on wearing their normal dress attire for interviews and have no one be the wiser.

What I guess I’m trying to say is, there are some that think women in general are being treated unfairly.  If their actions are to only empower women, their being unfair to men.  The focus has to be on gender ambiguity, and I’ll leave that to you to decide if that’s what’s right for the whole world.  Until you get all the women to agree they want stop wearing make up, wear uniforms like a polo and khakis every day, and keep their hair the same way every day – you will also have unfairness.  I’m OK with that.  I just think everyone could gain a little perspective by considering what you have that others don’t have before you start ranting and raving about what you don’t have that others do have.  And if you’re still not happy, set out to make the world a better place for everyone, not just for yourself, whatever that looks like.

What should I do with all these old jackets from my high school sports days?  I was not a record setting athlete by any means, but I have jackets from soccer, basketball, and then even some jackets from little league baseball.  They’re really nice quality jackets, but they have my name embroidered into the chest and the name of the high school or community on the back.  Some people would freak at donating them because of the personal information leak.  What do you think?

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Own your failures.

People think “oh, I shouldn’t tell people I suck at this, because then they’ll know”  but chances are, they already know.  If you own it, not only will it help you grow, but it will rebuild your trust with anyone who already knew the truth.  In fact, I think it’s perfectly fine to ask people [periodically, without regularity] how you’re doing so you can have an accurate picture of your shortfalls.  Just don’t be that self-degrading person who makes a scene of their own failures, k?

I’m sorry, Dad.

There’s going to be a lot of things I should apologize to my dad for.  this will be the first one, that I’ve at least fully realized anyway.  Growing up, he had guitars that would just sit in cases and he’d never play them.  Once I got out on my own, I bought guitars and hung them on my walls and I played them all.  I recorded music.  I thought music was such a part of me that I could never walk away from it.  I will always want to play my guitar.  I couldn’t believe my dad didn’t play guitar regularly.  He wasn’t your typical “oh, yeah, I can play campfire songs” guitarist.  He knew music theory.  He just never did anything with it, and that is where I judged him.

Because right now, I haven’t touched my guitars at all, because I’d rather put my hands around my daughter than some dead piece of wood.  I’m not sure that’s why my dad didn’t play, I’m just saying that in my arrogance, I thought I was different.  I thought I would be different.  Quite frankly, I’m glad I’m not different, because I’d miss this little girl grow up.

My 30×30 list has some music related things on it that will not be done.  I’m alright with that, because my heart strings are being played by someone else right now.  Maybe she’ll want to play, or better yet, maybe she’ll be left handed and learn to play my guitars for me.  That’d be swell.