Blog of Josh Hall

WARNING:  I’m going to go on a bit of a rant about chivalry, gender roles, and social norms.  You may be offended or disagree.

One frustration I have is women who complain they aren’t treated “fairly”.  WTF is fair?  If you want to be treated like a man, act like a man.  I absolutely think people should be hired for jobs based on their abilities, regardless of gender, but when it comes to dress for that interview, it’s a completely different game between genders.  Women dress is something that makes them look good.  If they’re short, they wear heels.  They have have ways to express their personality, and have it be socially appropriate.  Men have to wear a suit.  Not a red suit.  not a looneytoons tie.  Men are judged on their ability to conform to boring in their appearance.  If you want to give me some tirade about ‘well, the interviewer shouldn’t be basing their decision on how attractive the girl is’ then I want you to not put on any make-up, show up at tell that to the person interviewing you.  If you’re not willing to put your actions where your mouth is, I don’t want to hear your words.

What it comes down to, if you want to be treated fairly, sure, there are probably a lot of things that could be “brought up” to a higher standard compared to men, but there are certainly a lot of areas that should be brought down to be comparable to men.  No more holding doors.  No more ordering first at restaurants.  Come to think of it, no more passcode entry into the work bathroom!  Why are women’s privacy and security concerns greater than men?

I say put a lock on the men’s room door too.  I say, men need to be allowed to wear khaki shorts to summer weddings if women are able to wear skirts and thin strapped dresses.  Why are men at such a huge fashion disadvantage?  Back to job interviewing, If I don’t normally wear a tie to work, but all of a sudden I show up to work with a tie on, chances are people are going to think I have a job interview somewhere.  Women don’t have to worry about that.  They can keep on wearing their normal dress attire for interviews and have no one be the wiser.

What I guess I’m trying to say is, there are some that think women in general are being treated unfairly.  If their actions are to only empower women, their being unfair to men.  The focus has to be on gender ambiguity, and I’ll leave that to you to decide if that’s what’s right for the whole world.  Until you get all the women to agree they want stop wearing make up, wear uniforms like a polo and khakis every day, and keep their hair the same way every day – you will also have unfairness.  I’m OK with that.  I just think everyone could gain a little perspective by considering what you have that others don’t have before you start ranting and raving about what you don’t have that others do have.  And if you’re still not happy, set out to make the world a better place for everyone, not just for yourself, whatever that looks like.

What should I do with all these old jackets from my high school sports days?  I was not a record setting athlete by any means, but I have jackets from soccer, basketball, and then even some jackets from little league baseball.  They’re really nice quality jackets, but they have my name embroidered into the chest and the name of the high school or community on the back.  Some people would freak at donating them because of the personal information leak.  What do you think?

Own your failures.

People think “oh, I shouldn’t tell people I suck at this, because then they’ll know”  but chances are, they already know.  If you own it, not only will it help you grow, but it will rebuild your trust with anyone who already knew the truth.  In fact, I think it’s perfectly fine to ask people [periodically, without regularity] how you’re doing so you can have an accurate picture of your shortfalls.  Just don’t be that self-degrading person who makes a scene of their own failures, k?

I’m sorry, Dad.

There’s going to be a lot of things I should apologize to my dad for.  this will be the first one, that I’ve at least fully realized anyway.  Growing up, he had guitars that would just sit in cases and he’d never play them.  Once I got out on my own, I bought guitars and hung them on my walls and I played them all.  I recorded music.  I thought music was such a part of me that I could never walk away from it.  I will always want to play my guitar.  I couldn’t believe my dad didn’t play guitar regularly.  He wasn’t your typical “oh, yeah, I can play campfire songs” guitarist.  He knew music theory.  He just never did anything with it, and that is where I judged him.

Because right now, I haven’t touched my guitars at all, because I’d rather put my hands around my daughter than some dead piece of wood.  I’m not sure that’s why my dad didn’t play, I’m just saying that in my arrogance, I thought I was different.  I thought I would be different.  Quite frankly, I’m glad I’m not different, because I’d miss this little girl grow up.

My 30×30 list has some music related things on it that will not be done.  I’m alright with that, because my heart strings are being played by someone else right now.  Maybe she’ll want to play, or better yet, maybe she’ll be left handed and learn to play my guitars for me.  That’d be swell.

Stop apologizing.

The more you apologize, the cheaper your apologies get.  The world is plagued with what seems to be a responsibility to apologize when someone 1) doesn’t agree 2) is offended or 3) just doesn’t like what you said.  That last one is the linchpin and probably what is causing the disease.  It has become the social norm to just apologize and then every one can move on.  The problem there is, a lot of people don’t deserve an apology.  We’ve digressed to a society that thinks they’re owed an apology and we’re now at the point where we can’t progress because we’re too worried about what other people think.

The fact is, apologies are just words and words are stupid.  If you think you should be apologized to, why don’t you care enough to actually get something of value?

Some related reading:  http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/22/opinion/please-stop-apologizing.html

Welcome to the scotoma of LEGO creations.  Jeff Sanders is doing what everyone should have realized years ago. LEGO bricks have a little give to them, which means, when enough of them are connected in a straight line, you can bend that line.  His work has been featured with Nathan Sawaya’s touring displays.  Great stuff from an adult fan of LEGO.

http://www.brickbending.com/