Blog of Josh Hall

yeah….so remember that house that i wanted to buy a year ago? I put a bid in on it yesterday. I’ll hear monday if i get it or not. It just came back up on the market at the begining of the month. I saw it, and the water damage was not that bad at all, one small pipe cracked in the basement rafters and sprayed water all over the drywall there. looks like it just needs replaced, nothing wrong structurally. I wanted to be able to lowball the bank with an offer and have them counter, but there apparently is another bidder, so the bank most likely will just take the highest bid. I ended up bidding 5k above what i wanted to bid…kinda feeling a little taken and a little regret on that…but we’ll see. It’s going to be a tight tight tight tight budget for a while if i get the house. There’s lots of pros and cons and unknowns and hoops and loops and this and that involved and still to go through, but, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

school isn’t too bad so far. online class is just busy work for a few hours on sundays, the class that meets on thursday is the same professor that i had last semester for the class where I/we had class 3/8 weeks, so i am hoping for an easy A again.

going back home this weekend to work at the estate and the park. I gotta get some kind of sign up for the park so people start calling and making reservations for the season. J’aime and Keren went over to the estate last week, and they said the roof is leaking really bad. I am hoping to get some tarps this weekend and get up on the roof to fix it. Hopefully it won’t be too cold and hopefully we’re able to do everything that we want to.

So, I’ve had lots of dreams where my dad is in them, sometimes he’s fine and nothing ever happened, and sometimes he actually survived the surgery, but last night was one of the first dreams that I remember having where he wasn’t actually there…sort of. I say sort of, because J’aime was talking to him on her cell phone, and i saw emails between her and him. My dad was giving J’aime a hard time over the cell phone, in his typical fashioin. We were all over at the estate in the dining room talking about what we are going to with the house and robbie and her girls were there too. after we were done, everyone left, and i was walking around turning off lights in the estate and my cell phone rang, and it was my dad’s voice asking violently “WHERE’S J’AIME?”…so i guess you can kinda consider this a haunting/nightmare thing. It was all dark in the house and i’m walking around upstairs turning off lights and such, and in every room, i’m scared i’m going to open a door and he’s going to be there. most of the house was empty, except my old room, it was just how i left it when i was a kid, instead of the piles of boxes it is currently. After Ieft the house, i headed over to my mom’s with 2 cats from my dad’s house. It was as if it was the first time we were closing up the estate. When i got to my moms, the 3 cats from my dad’s were already there, but i remember thinking there were 5 now that i added the other 2, again.
next, i ‘woke up’ in my old room in the basement at my moms. It was something like 6:45 am in the dream, and for some reason it was the time we normally go to school…highschool. I went up stairs to where deirdre’s, keren’s, and serah’s rooms were, and keren and deirdre were still sleeping and serah was in the bathroom. I was asking keren why everyone was still sleeping, we had to go to school. She just said they slept in. Serah came out of the bathroom, and went for the phone, which was off the hook, with J’aime apparently waiting on the other end. They starting talking, and Deirdre came out, and I started having this deja vu and telling her about remember serah picking up the phone and j’aime being on the other end, and waking up late for school. Then, I started realizing that I was repeating things that already happened, like bringing the cats over. And i’m telling deirdre this, and then i ask her when it was that i hit my head snowboarding, and she said 2 weeks ago. I was really freaked out.

The fact that i was repeating things in dreams didnt set well with me, and i woke up really freaked out and it was hard to shake that feeling. I want to say that it’s progress i’m not seeing my dad alive in my dreams, but now he’s haunting me, and the fact that the stuff at my mom’s house took place with the assumption that we were all going to highschool, even serah, scares me. That was 6 years ago. So it’s like my dreams are retro-progressive. I don’t like that.

as modern medicine improves, along the lines of tissue regrowth, prosthetics, and nerve reconnecting, I think we’ll have some gruesome tv shows. Right now, we have fear factor, they do gross things for sure. I think the only thing that prevents people from going further though, is the chance of permanent damage to their bodies. What I see, is a show where people will get their left hand smashed by a sledge hammer, and the show will front the bill for a replacment hand. maybe the finale could be straight from scarface, chained to the shower curtain rod, and chainsaw to the legs. Are you able to handle pain?

Gratitude – This is the part
this song has been running through my head for the past few days. I woke up this morning and it’s blasting in my head, i can’t turn it off. They’re a great band. THIS IS THE PART!

For a while now, i have realized that I am not really that tall. just a little taller than average. but walking back from work today, i noticed the clearance on a parking garage. it was 6’2″. I can’t even walk in there.

I want to post an update, but i’m kinda at a loss. I’ll just ramble. Christmas was fun, i was back at my mom’s a lot spending time with the family. got my cousin’s old golf clubs, thinking about trying to learn. feeling very sluggish recently. i want to work out for muscle this year, gain back the 20 pounds i lost last year, but make it a SOLID 20. not sure the best way to go about that though, so i’m just doing sit ups, pushups, and i might go get some weights to do curls. school starts back up next week. 3 classes, at $1,200 each. mellon reimburses me, but that’s going to blow a big whole in the 5k limit for the year. car transmission is dying. i hate cars. it’s alright for short trips to the grocery store for now though. i need to start thinking about replacing it. I kinda want a dodge ram. played civilization 4 a lot this weekend, kinda hard to play during the week since it takes atleast 4 hours to get through a game. great game though, certainly on par with civ2, a few things i’d like to see more/less of to say it’s better definitely, but it could very well prove to be better. really feeling down right now, for known reasons, but i’ll keep them locked up in a heart shaped box for the time being. lease is up in february for the apartment, but i’ll probably just renew it. works a drag without my friend kevin, who left for YWAM. i had 2 bottles of rolling rock beer and 2 glasses of champagne on new years. first time i ever drank. went out to some bars with my friend travis and dallas. drinking was actually a disappointment. i didn’t feel anything, didn’t feel more social, didnt feel happier, beer didn’t taste like anything, bad or good, still hate the bar scene, still hate second hand smoke, didn’t feel any different after drinking. probably won’t do it again unless i’m doing it for social reasons. ie: trying to to get a girl. i’m lame. i’m different. i’m done.