Personal Update

I want out.

1 March, 2004 (23:59) | Personal Update

At what point am i supposed to forget what i want, and chose the wiser? this is something i have always struggled with. I have said before, i am what i want me to be, not what i want to be. i dont think i will ever be able to reach a middle ground between my heart and my mind. they both want priority.

i have been living on cheese sandwiches and ice cream the past 3 days. actually, the past 2, i didnt eat anything saturday. i just dont get hungry. i never have been able to feel hungry. my body hates my mind. and my mind hates my body. and my heart is stuck in the middle.

i want out is the title of this update, and there is no other way to describe how i feel about everything right now. i want out. i want nothing. all i do is sleep. all i do is think. all i do is repeat what i have done already. monotony. i punch in and punch out every day. sometimes i cant even escape my mind to do that. add goldfish to my digestive track.

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