Ramblings

I’m in the mood, so get ready.

10 November, 2008 (15:05) | Ramblings

I’m a moody person.  I think I’ve always realized this, but only recently I’m learning how much my moods, and changing of moods shape my life.  I don’t know if it’s something I should work to overcome, or something I should learn to accept as part of me…Where is the line that defines the difference between a low self-esteem and a constant desire to be more than what you are?

I was thinking that I have never given my full attention and devotion to any 1 thing for an extended period of time.  Sure, I’ve felt inspired from a book and changed my outlook on life and sometimes my behavior, but whether I’ve lost focus and drive, or was so successful in integrating that change that it now feels normal, I’m not sure.  Part of the necessity to read books is the mnemic ability to keep yourself accountable.  I don’t think I posses that skill.  That doesn’t mean I’m not going to read, but it possibly means that I don’t know how to read effectively.

At church on Sunday, I couldn’t keep focus because there was a gentlemen a few rows in front of me that was taking notes, it seemed at least, and he filled at least 5 notebook pages.  I want to know why these people take notes.  Is the simple act of writing it down enough for them to gain an extra level of retention or comprehension?  Do they save the notes?  Do the ever really refer to their notes later? How much later? Will this strategy work for me?

That’s the real question though. We all have our own tricks and skills and downfalls. At what point do we accept our abilities and deal with what we have? Do we believe that we can maintain a constant state of better ourselves in our lives? Someone could dedicate their life to improving themselves in all areas, but even then they’d probably fail to do anything worthwhile because they spent their whole life learning.

Sometimes, I’m in the mood to read. Sometimes, I want to improve my abilities to understand and comprehend. Sometimes, I’m so sick of it all I just want to give up and do nothing. Sometimes, I just want to sit around and talk about it all. Sometimes, there’s no time for any of that.

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  • Kallie

    I like to take notes in church for a few different reasons. Probably the biggest of which is that it helps me pay attention and retain more of what I hear. I’m a combination learner and the very act of both listening and writing it down help ingrain the information more deeply. It helps my photographic memory by giving me a picture….like when I make lists and the very act of making them is all I need to remember things. But I’ll also refer to my notes. Sometimes I want to go home and check them again my own study of the Bible, or I want to discuss them with mentors, friends, family, or someone I’m sharing/walking with. It may be that I don’t reread them for a long time until I run into a situation that reminds me of there existence and makes me flip through journals looking for them. That said, I go through seasons as well where notetaking helps me, and others where it just makes church feel like another task, work, class, or distracts me from listening, so I don’t. Guess it depends on my mood :)

  • Kallie

    I like to take notes in church for a few different reasons. Probably the biggest of which is that it helps me pay attention and retain more of what I hear. I’m a combination learner and the very act of both listening and writing it down help ingrain the information more deeply. It helps my photographic memory by giving me a picture….like when I make lists and the very act of making them is all I need to remember things. But I’ll also refer to my notes. Sometimes I want to go home and check them again my own study of the Bible, or I want to discuss them with mentors, friends, family, or someone I’m sharing/walking with. It may be that I don’t reread them for a long time until I run into a situation that reminds me of there existence and makes me flip through journals looking for them. That said, I go through seasons as well where notetaking helps me, and others where it just makes church feel like another task, work, class, or distracts me from listening, so I don’t. Guess it depends on my mood :)

  • mommajanjan

    Great idea Kallie, “seasons” There you go Josh, just accept that the seasons of your life will come and go. Some winters are tougher than others, some springs more beautiful. But as for the esteem part, I think we should strive to accept and love ourselves for who we are. That is important, and shouldn’t get in the way of growth. The best thing I ever did for my self esteem (and it used to REALLY suck) was hang out with someone who thinks I am wonderful just the way I am. It has not stopped me from trying to improve, just the opposite in fact. And be patient with yourself, it is not a race. By the way, you rock.
    =]

  • mommajanjan

    Great idea Kallie, “seasons” There you go Josh, just accept that the seasons of your life will come and go. Some winters are tougher than others, some springs more beautiful. But as for the esteem part, I think we should strive to accept and love ourselves for who we are. That is important, and shouldn’t get in the way of growth. The best thing I ever did for my self esteem (and it used to REALLY suck) was hang out with someone who thinks I am wonderful just the way I am. It has not stopped me from trying to improve, just the opposite in fact. And be patient with yourself, it is not a race. By the way, you rock.
    =]