Blog of Josh Hall

If i come in to work one more time and my chair is wedged under my desk, I’m going to flip out.  I put my arm rests right where they need to be for me, and when I sit in the chair, they’re low enough to reach below the desk fine.  When I leave, I just slowly push the chair against the desk and walk away.  When I come back the next day, I have to get 2 hands on the back of the chair and YANK IT out from the desk.  EFFING CLEANING PEOPLE!  They have to be jamming the vacuum against it and shove it so far into my desk that it’s almost impossible to get out.  It’s driving me mad.  I think I’m going to put a note on my chair to stop it.  Or a pressure bomb that will explode the arm rests if pressed too hard.  Corporate security risk?  Me?  Nah.

some throw shoes around power lines, why not have them dangle from your ceiling?  Sitting in the living room talking to alex and deirdre about where people could put there shoes for a party i’m having this friday, and alex suggested getting a metal plate on the ceiling and having big magnets with hooks so people could hang their shoes from them.  Words can’t express how much i’m loving this idea.  certainly not something I can pull off by friday, but it’s a great idea!  gets everything up and out of the way and it’d be fun to just throw your shoes up and have them stick to the ceiling.  it’d also serve as a sober test, if you can’t focus enough to reach your shoes without getting sick and falling over, you shouldn’t leave in your current state.

I woke up today at noon.  Keren slept over last night too.  When I woke up, I went down stairs and Keren and Deirdre were watching TV, a movie, called "Snowed in."  I felt like it was a snow day from school.  The three of us, just doing nothing but watching TV.  It was cold, I didn’t want to go outside.  I just got that antagonist feeling, no desire to do anything at all, but knowing that’s there’s much to do.  Slave to my lack of motivation.  "Innervate me!",  my soul screams, but my body turns a dull ear.  Productivity is lost.  Friendships will go unwatered today, just like the wilting plant that sits to the left of my television.  Solace?  Hardly.  Just an overwhelming sense of discomfort.  My feet are cold, but my socks are up stairs.  There is food to be made, but I think i might die from the expelled energy or turn to dust before the food is done.  "Sweep me up", i mutter with my head back against the couch, eyes closed, but still facing heaven, if the ceiling didn’t intercept my glance first.  Tomorrow will be better.  It has to be.

Most ridiculous British laws:

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour

 8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing

 7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament

Courtesy of Yahoo/AP

"No jesus, no hope.  Know jesus, know hope."

 – KiwiEnvy

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