Blog of Josh Hall

This weekend I picked up fable 2.  I was a fan of the first game and I’ve waiting anxiously for this release since it was pushed back so much.  I played it all consumingly this weekend, as i do with most video games I get into.  I beat it sunday night, and what I found at the end, was something I was afraid to confirm.  I just don’t see the point anymore.  I used to love getting lost in a good video game.  I don’t know if I should be happy that i’ve seem to have out grown or matured past video games, or sad that my life has become such an increased dosage of reality that I feel uncomfortable in a fantasy world anymore.  That scares me, that my imagination has gone.  I’m trying to separate this revelation from my birthday.  I felt this same way after playing grand theft auto 4 this spring.  I thought it was just the game, but it’s me. 

And I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching recently.  I never thought i’d feel this way, but I’m feeling like i’m shedding my skin again.  I’m starting to feel disconnected from what I used to call me.  In a lot of regards, i guess it’s just natural to move on and change over time, but as I inject more Christian practice into my life, I’m seeing that what I was identifying with for so long were just temporary things.  I was seeking distraction and entertainment in things of this world.  I’ve always been aware of that risk, but never fully understood it’s depth.  That in itself has its own struggle though.  I’m born of this world.  How can I live in a world like this?  Do I try to change it?  For everyone, or just me?  If the latter, is that like denying the rest of the world as reality?  Do I simply find a comfortable homeostasis to live out my years?  I’ve searched for the answer to that question a lot, and I’ve never found the answer.  I find a lot of people that ignore it though.  I’ve had people tell me that I need to stop thinking about things and just accept them.  A lot of people.  Is this one of those situations?

There’s only 1 thing I’m sure of and that is that life doesn’t happen over night, and anyone that thinks that they or anyone can just wake up one day and change their mind and the life they’re leading is wrong.  I certainly don’t need that outside pressure to change my life, but I certainly need that outside accountability.  I have self-destructive tendencies, and I’ve always excersized my ability to use them.  That’s me.

I’ve got that sense that something is going to move in my life again.  Too early to speculate what it is just yet, but I’d be a fool to call it a negative or positive thing.  Life is always what you make out of it. 

My how the time flies.  I was originally going to title this post “Wake me up, when September ends”  but we’re way past that point already.  The alarm has been ringing all month long for me to wake from my slumber, but I’ve been dreaming and watching everything move at the speed of life.

First off, the race went very well. I did it in just under 2 hours and andy did it in just over 80 minutes. I learned that I do not have the mind of a competitive runner that day. I definitely want to keep working and pushing my physical abilities though. I’m hoping for an 80 minute run next year. I was able to clear the taxi at the end though, something that I guess no one else was able to do. Here’s a picture of that.

Things with Kallie continue to grow. She got a job here in the ER at Children’s Hospital and starts November 10^th. She’s also got a nice place a few blocks from my house in the Bedford hill apartments. We’ve been traveling since she’s come here, so we haven’t had a chance to find a church together yet, but it’s certainly a top priority. She still has a lot of logistics on her plate, and I’m sure she misses everyone from Philly, so I’m trying to stay supportive, encouraging, and respectful. I am finding that I can suck at all 3 of those.

How about 4 people I know got engaged 2 weekends ago? Tis the season? Keren was one of them. They’re planning their big fat greek wedding already. Sounds…interesting.

I’ve just been so jammed packed with activity and travel that I haven’t had much time for music or for trying for my MBA. Work has been stressful as well with the market in the shape it’s in. More updates to come as they are revealed.

Birthday is coming up…turning 26…I was telling Kallie the other day, I’m actually feeling good about this birthday, and that’s highly uncharacteristic of me. I’m seeing 26 as a point of distinguished and responsible status and I’m happy to reach that level. No definite plans though, usually I take the week off and travel somewhere, but I don’t think I have money for that this year, with that $1500 truck bill I had last month. I really have to track down those holes in my pockets…

In follow up to my previous posts about wanting to collect dirt from around the country in small jars and display them…It looks like the Natural History Museum in Washington, DC has already done that in their soil exhibit.  Kind of ruins it for me now…not so sure this one is still on my list of things to do.  Here’s a video of the exhibit i took this weekend.

So I’ve written before about my deep fascination with Bedford Springs resort, and that’s definitely on my list of places to stay and visit.  They have a great history that goes back into the late 1700’s and presidents staying there.  you can read about the history on their site or ask me to borrow the PBS DVD I got from my mom for Christmas on it.  Great stuff.

Another similar place that I want to stay is the Greenbrier in White Sulfur Springs, WV.  It has a long and luxorious history much like Bedford springs, but it has an awesome underground bunker that was to be used by the government during the Cold War.  How awesome is that?

I haven’t used this category for things I want to see and do, but I should.  James Turrell has been one of my favorite artists for many years now, and I think a few people have heard me rave about his Roden Crater Project.  I want to visit/tour it.  From this NY Times article of someone wanting to do the same, it looks like it won’t open until 2011.  I can’t wait.

When I was in 5th grade or so, the whole Jansport and Eastpak fad hit.  Everybody was using these $40-$60 back packs, and you weren’t cool unless you had one.  Josh Smith was really the one that gave me the most peer pressure about it.  I begged my mom to buy me one.  They had a lifetime warranty and if there was anything wrong with it, you just sent it back for repair.  You could also stab a pen through the bag and it would "heal" itself.  How awesome was that?  Anyway, my mom was very reluctant to get me one, but one day, she caved. 

When I picked my mom up to drive out to Philly a few weekends ago, she noticed I still had my eastpak.  I think she was pleasantly surprised that I had stood behind my words and promise to take care of it.  I was surprised she remembered the whole ordeal.

I’ve sent the bag back for repairs once since I’ve had it.  The middle compartment zipper had broken and torn.  I think it took a month to get it back, but it came back with all new zippers (they had "JS" imprinted on them…so I think Jansport bought eastpak or something), new stitched leather bottom, and new zipper pulls, when I didn’t have any on them when I sent it to them.  Awesome.  I’ve never been happier with a bag.  Thanks, Mom.