all i want is an effing shamrock shake. please.
I can’t remember the last time i had a shamrock shake. or anything from mcdonald’s for that fact. call it nostalgia, call it curiousity, call it whatever, the fact remains, i want an effing shamrock shake, and i’m not getting satisfaction. Every year when mcdonald’s offers the shake, i hear someone talk about it, and it gets me slowly thinking about going and getting one, but i never do, and i forget about it. One of my friends started a group on facebook related to loving this time of year because of the shamrock shake, and this time it really struck a note in me to go friggin try one. I was out with friends last wednesday and i had mentioned the idea of stopping by the drive thru for some, and they were half interested at least, but it didnt pan out. So sunday, the day after St. Patrick’s day, I drive by a mcdonalds, get inspired, pull up to the drive thru, say, "can i have a medium shamrock please?" and i feel such a sense of exuberance, finally, i’m going to do it. Then the voice behind the speaker retorts, "sorry, we’re all out of shamrock shake." I was thrown for a second on his grammatical structuring of "shake" compared to "shakes", but I was not deterred from my mission to acquire a shamrock shake. Being the cartographer that I am, I know that there’s another mickey D’s about 2 miles down the road. I engage in my second pursuit for this green delicacy. I’m beginning to think i’m on to their marketing scheme, create a low supply, causing "buzz" publicity. It’s no a new strategy; we’ve seen it before. So I pull up to the second distributor of this irish themed delight, and inquire on the availabilty of said pleasure. Again, i reach an impasse. They are all out of shamrock shakes. This time, i’m a little stunned. I panic for a plan C. I was not prepared for this disappointment. There is yet another McDonald’s about 5 miles away…it’s out of my way…but maybe….maybe they have a bountiful supply of the verde substance that i crave. I check the clock. Time is of the essence, and if i make the trek, i’ll be late meeting my girlfriend. And i think it goes without saying, she is worth more than a thousand shamrock shakes. I shake my fist at the establishment and let out a "Next time! McDonald’s, NEXT TIME!" that even Doctor Claw would envy. When I meet my girlfriend, i test the waters with hints of going on a shamrock shake expedition, but the interest seems nil. I drop the issue…for now.
tonight, a surprise attack! in a knee jerk reaction, almost late for work, i spot a mcdonald’s. Sharp right into the drive thru lane (the RIGHT drive thru lane i might add, I paused a second to marvel at the existence of 2 lanes. What innovation!) I’ve got butterflies, but I don’t let the vixen on the other side of the communicator sense my anticipation. I gather composure and coyly catechize on their shamrock shake inventory…DRAT! She must have seen me coming! surely they’ve had enough time to replenish the stock by now?! I scoff and drive away in wrecklessness. Shamrock shakeless wrecklessness…2,674 views