Blog of Josh Hall

i was thinking about creating a video or something for oprah and sending it off. i guess i’ll just give you the story i would tell, and see if you think it is worthy of getting oprah to help out. I’ll just give the facts straight out and not fluff it like i would try to do.

growing up we had the perfect family, mom and dad, J’aime is the oldest, then Caleb, then Serah, then me. My parents started a Christian school in the basement of our church for J’aime to start school. in 1986, Caleb was diagnosed with cancer and Keren was born. Caleb was a Make-A-Wish kid, and we took a trip across the country in a winnebago that year too. Deirdre was born in 1989, and my parents started to break up. Caleb died in 1990. all of us are very close and we all have very strong faith. in december my dad died so suddenly of brain surgery. he found out he had a brain tumor on a monday, had the surgery that friday, and passed that monday. All it took was a week. So now my sisters and I are trying to keep the 13 acre property that has been in the family since the revolutionary war from creditors and the bank. my sisters have had to deal with a lot of crap in their lives, and we need help accomplishing the goal of keeping the house, and i would like something special for my sisters.

Ever compare snow flakes with popcorn? Rain drops are kind of like clear popcorn kernels. They kinda look like them, and they suck when you get hit in the eye by them. When ever popcorn kernels get really hot, they turn into popcorn. When ever it’s really cold, instead of rain, you get snow flakes. Coincidence? I think not.

– Pete Origanel

well, back at work after a short weekend. This is the first weekend in a while that i haven’t had to do anything. No weekend shift and I didnt go home to see my sisters or do anything at the estate. It was nice. I deep cleaned the apartment on saturday and went over to a friend from work’s house for a Texas hold em tournament. First time gambler. I was only out $5, bough in the first time, lasted 5 rounds and didnt buy back in. Becky was out $10, and Kevin ended up taken the 1st place and getting 60 some bucks. Texas hold em is a bnuch of fun, i am thinking about getting some chips just to play. So that was saturday, and sunday i went out to the mall sunday. I stopped in the pet store to check out the fish, and they had a weimaraner pup there. My family has been talking about getting one after the poosh moves on. He was a cute thing, and then i noticed his birthday, same as mine. I would love to have a huge place and enough money for a dog like that. What i did end up buying was a 4 piece sectional at Kaufmann’s furniture on clearance for $750 though. i have to go get it today, i am excited. I also got a Beckett price guide to see what my dad’s baseball cards are worth. he’s got a few $500 cards, some $300 cards, and lots of $100-$150 cards. Quite a few Mickey Mantles, Willie Mays, Ted Williams, Hank Aaron, Bill Mazeroski, etc. Good to look at. his 1 binder is worth well over 3x my 5 binders. Watched the movie Before Sunset yesterday. Can you say Waking Life 2? I thought it was screaming chick flick at first, but then i saw ethan hawke and the same girl he was with in waking life were in it. Then i heard the dialogue, and i was like, whoa, this has Richard Linklater written all over it. Sure enough, popped over to www.imdb.com and it was him. You can’t watch a movie like that and turn off your mind afterwards. I had a smile on my face in wonderment for the next hour. Great movie.

So as far as things go with the estate, it’s a mess. I took some pictures of it as well as some of the cannon. I should warn you that the house is in TERRIBLE condition, the house used to be so cool when it was built in 1885, there is a pic from then in the link. and the cannon is from world war II. There are a bunch of cool pics of it and the park at my grandma’s. I want to scan them all.

So i got work that is going pretty well, school with 1 class meeting 3 more times between now and april, estate stuff that i’m letting J’aime stress herself out over but shouldn’t, gotta find another roommate since emily is trying to go to paris, and on top of all that, i bought a coat hangar thing at target that fits over a door, and the door doesn’t shut with it on it! WHAT THE FRIGGIN CRAP! i tried it on different doors, and it’s too thick to allow the door to shut. What is that about??? Am i wrong in assuming that doors should still be able to close? I swear, sometimes, it’s just me. Nothing just works. There is always an ordeal.

one thing i didn’t do was record this weekend. So that brings me to 1 absolutely finished song, 1 pretty finished song, and 3 songs recorded without lyrics written. My new years resolution was a song a week, or atleast 2 songs a month, with a CD out by end of summer. Lyrics are what are holding me up now. I’ve been in the mood to write a novel or two recently too, but i gotta go with the songs first i think. If i don’t do it, no one else will. 😉

I’m not sure if i should post just any dream i remember, or just the ones that are weird. What do you think? This next one, i woke up remembering the end part, and was just going to post that, but then i remembered all that happenned before it that wasn’t related, so i wasn’t sure to post that or not. I guess i just write it at the end. Things to note, i went to bed at 4:30 pm, woke up at 8:30 pm for a minute or two, and had not dreamed any of this, and by 10:30 i woke up for good and remembered this.

So i am at my dad’s house, and by this time, i am aware that i am dreaming, but instead of being active and in control of my dream like i usually am, i believe myself to be invisible. It’s a summer day, and all my sisters are just chilling out in the grass sitting around and talking. I slowly sneak up to them and try and hear their conversation. While Serah is talking, Ja’ime starts to look at me. I have the feeling like in past dreams she had done the same thing, like i really am not invisible. I ignore it once or twice, but then she does it again, and i tackle here and start to tickle her sides like there is no tomorrow. She starts freaking out like i would expect her to, and everyone else sits there watching her, and then i see Serah give a look like “what do i do now???” and look off into the woods, as if some “director” is there and will give her directions. So i busted her on that move and then they all start talking to me, like “yeah, you weren’t invisible and you weren’t dreaming and we weren’t supposed to let you know that.” Like a whole Jim Carrey and Truman Show thing. Then my dad drive up in his dump truck into the yard and gets out and start heading for the house like he is mad. So i was looking at my sisters and said something along the lines of “so he was in on it too huh? I am so mad at him” Then I said, “but maybe he was just doing his job, so do i hate him, the actor actor in my life, or do i hate his character.” But anyway, it starts to get dark and stormy, and we all have this sense of urgency to seek refuge in the house. At this point, my uncle kenny shows up and heads for the house as well as my grandma. As we are making our way into the house, i hear TONS of crazy animal noises coming from the woods. I am talking lions, ELEPHANTS, howls, growls, all that, and i am thinking they are all coming to stampede the house. We get into the house, and i walk to the front door of the house and J’aime is letting Dante in from the porch, but a black police officer is there, and he drove his car right up to the porch and was talking to us to make sure everyone got in safe. And then i woke up. The part of the dream that happenned before this is in the extended text. So back to the beginning of what i remember. One of the most popular themes of my dreams is that i am back in highschool, trying to finish school for some reason, but i am still the same person as i am today. As if i just left school and never finished. So this is where i am at, in a classroom, and Will Smith is my teacher. We are in a classroom that was at my 2nd school, Heritage Hills Christian Academy. (3rd floor, across from Mrs. Sarber’s small room for the details) anyway, he’s about to start class and he asks me how i am doing, and i say fine. My girlfriend Becky is sitting next to me, and he asks me about the legal case going on. I am then reminded of a dream i hate earlier, where a friends girlfriend was suing me for some reason. I gave a look of shock that he asked me that and just tried to dodge the question, i think he got the hint and said that he was a little confused but he would just talk to me later. Then the dreams gets spotty and i kinda remember Samuel L Jackson being my teacher for something, and having a study hall with someone else, but i would skip it to go talk to him about my life and get his advice. Whe he was there, the setting was my first school, Bentleyville Wesleyan Christian School. The next thing i remember, i am at the cannon by my dad’s house, and someone starts playing the bass part to what i believe to be a Police song. I wish i could remember the song, or even exactly how it went, I know if someone played it for me right now, i would be able to pick it out. But anyway, he’s behind the barn playing guitar, and i walk near him and he starts playing some other leads to songs that i recognized. When he is done, he puts down the guitar, and walks back to the group of 4 or 5 of his 20 something friends who were watching him play. Then, one of them comes over to me, and about 6 other people that were watching him. And he starts saying that what his friend just did took courage, to stand up there and play infront of everyone, and he said 2 points for him for being able to do that, and to be bold enough to do what he wanted to do in his life. He said that is what we all needed to learn to do, to live in the moment. He came up to me and said to everyone, I am just going to put out my cigarette on this guy’s neck (which he did) because i don’t know him and i feel like doing it. Now, if he was smart, one day he will grow up and remember that and kill me. Then i started to strangle him, squeezing the life out of his neck, and he was proud of me for killing him, because he saw me doing what i wanted to do. He didn’t put up much of a fight. Then i start walking closer to the house and that is where i started to realize i was dreaming and continued with the rest of the dream.

I think this dream reveals my deep paranoia and dementia. Agree?