25 January, 2006 (15:05) | Dreams

So, I’ve had lots of dreams where my dad is in them, sometimes he’s fine and nothing ever happened, and sometimes he actually survived the surgery, but last night was one of the first dreams that I remember having where he wasn’t actually there…sort of. I say sort of, because J’aime was talking to him on her cell phone, and i saw emails between her and him. My dad was giving J’aime a hard time over the cell phone, in his typical fashioin. We were all over at the estate in the dining room talking about what we are going to with the house and robbie and her girls were there too. after we were done, everyone left, and i was walking around turning off lights in the estate and my cell phone rang, and it was my dad’s voice asking violently “WHERE’S J’AIME?”…so i guess you can kinda consider this a haunting/nightmare thing. It was all dark in the house and i’m walking around upstairs turning off lights and such, and in every room, i’m scared i’m going to open a door and he’s going to be there. most of the house was empty, except my old room, it was just how i left it when i was a kid, instead of the piles of boxes it is currently. After Ieft the house, i headed over to my mom’s with 2 cats from my dad’s house. It was as if it was the first time we were closing up the estate. When i got to my moms, the 3 cats from my dad’s were already there, but i remember thinking there were 5 now that i added the other 2, again.
next, i ‘woke up’ in my old room in the basement at my moms. It was something like 6:45 am in the dream, and for some reason it was the time we normally go to school…highschool. I went up stairs to where deirdre’s, keren’s, and serah’s rooms were, and keren and deirdre were still sleeping and serah was in the bathroom. I was asking keren why everyone was still sleeping, we had to go to school. She just said they slept in. Serah came out of the bathroom, and went for the phone, which was off the hook, with J’aime apparently waiting on the other end. They starting talking, and Deirdre came out, and I started having this deja vu and telling her about remember serah picking up the phone and j’aime being on the other end, and waking up late for school. Then, I started realizing that I was repeating things that already happened, like bringing the cats over. And i’m telling deirdre this, and then i ask her when it was that i hit my head snowboarding, and she said 2 weeks ago. I was really freaked out.

The fact that i was repeating things in dreams didnt set well with me, and i woke up really freaked out and it was hard to shake that feeling. I want to say that it’s progress i’m not seeing my dad alive in my dreams, but now he’s haunting me, and the fact that the stuff at my mom’s house took place with the assumption that we were all going to highschool, even serah, scares me. That was 6 years ago. So it’s like my dreams are retro-progressive. I don’t like that.


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